Antonio Banderas, Babygirl, drama, Esther McGregor, film festivals, Gabrielle Policano, Halina Reijn, Harris Dickinson, movies, New York City, Nicole Kidman, reviews, Sophie Wilde, Tess McMillan, TIFF, Toronto International Film Festival, Vaughan Reilly, Venice International Film Festival
December 24, 2024
by Carla Hay
Directed by Halina Reijn
Culture Representation: Taking place mostly in New York City, the dramatic film “Babygirl” features a predominantly white cast of characters (with a few black people) representing the working-class, middle-class and wealthy.
Culture Clash: A high-powered CEO, who’s married with kids, puts her marriage and career at risk when she enters into a secretive dominant/submissive sexual relationship with a younger man, who’s an intern at her company
Culture Audience: “Babygirl” will appeal primarily to people who are fans of the movie’s headliners and are interested in dramas about people with sexual dilemmas.
The lifestyle of bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism (BDSM) has always been controversial when it comes to being a choice for sexual fulfillment because the definition of “consent” is often confused or misunderstood in these contexts. The ending of “Babygirl” will largely determine how much a viewer will like this erotic drama. Nicole Kidman gives a memorable and raw performance as a married mother coming to terms with her BDSM desires that are ignited by her affair with a younger man.
Written and directed by Halina Reijn, “Babygirl” had its world premiere at the 2024 Venice International Film Festival, where Kidman won the award for Best Actress. “Babygirl” had its North American premiere at the 2024 Toronto International Film Festival. Reijn is also one of the producers of the movie.
In “Babygirl” (which takes place mostly in New York City, where the movie was filmed on location), Kidman portrays Romy Mathis, the CEO of an unnamed company that is making a product called Harvest, which is the company “emotional intelligence” answer to artificial intelligence. It’s somewhat of an irony, since much of “Babygirl” is about Romy masking her real emotions with artificial emotions, in order to play the part of a high-powered business executive who has her whole life in order.
Romy is married to a kind of loving husband named Jacob (played by Antonio Banderas), who is a successful director of stage plays. Jacob, just like Romy, has a tendency to be absorbed by his work. But it doesn’t get in the way of the passion he still has for Romy.
The movie’s opening scene shows Romy and Jacob having sex, but viewers soon see that Romy isn’t really sexually fulfilled by Jacob. She wants to BDSM role play during sex, where she plays the submissive role. However, she’s afraid to tell Jacob about this desire. Later, it’s revealed that Romy has never had an orgasm when she’s had sex with Jacob.
At work, Romy is a well-respected and productive leader. The company’s business is doing well financially. At home, things aren’t running so smoothly for Romy. And it’s not because she’s unfulfilled by her sex life with Jacob.
Romy and Jacob have two teenage daughters. Older daughter Isabel (played by Esther McGregor), who’s about 15 or 16, is rebellious and disrespectful to Romy, while younger daughter Nora (played by Vaughan Reilly), who’s about 13 or 14, is obedient and respectful. Isabel rudely insults Romy for a variety of things, including Romy’s physical appearance, by taunting Romy for looking “old.”
Romy is hurt by these types of insults because Romy is self-conscious about looking as young as possible. A scene in the movie shows her getting Botox treatments on her face. The movie implies that Romy is also hurt by Isabel’s disrespectful treatment because Romy and Isabel used to be close, but their relationship has changed. It’s left up to interpretation if it’s just teenage rebellion or something else.
One day, Romy is walking on a street when she sees a German Shepherd running loose after getting away from its owner. She also sees that a young man in his mid-to-late 20s is able to calm down the female dog before handing the dog back to the owner. After this stranger gives the cookie to the dog, he says, “Good girl.” It’s a sentence that Romy will hear again from this same man in a dominant/submissive flirtation.
Later that day, a group of about 10 to 15 new interns are given a tour of the company’s headquarters. Romy’s intelligent assistant Esme Smith (played by Sophie Wilde) is giving the tour and has the interns briefly stop by Romy’s office. After a brief introduction, one of the interns asks a business question that makes Romy slightly uncomfortable because she doesn’t want to answer the question in that moment. Seeing Romy’s discomfort, Esme quickly ushers the interns out of the office.
Romy notices that this inquisitive intern is the same man whom she saw placate the German Shepherd earlier that day. It isn’t long before she finds out his name: Samuel (played by Harris Dickinson), who immediately tests Romy’s boundaries on sexual flirtation. Samuel is skilled at sizing people up psychologically, so he is quickly able to detect Romy’s vulnerabilities.
Shortly after meeting Romy, Samuel notices a Botox bruise on her forehead that Romy has tried to hide underneath her hair. Samuel comments to Romy about the bruise: “It looks good on you.” Romy looks startled but pleased by this unexpected compliment. However, she then covers up the bruise with makeup. Later, Romy asks Samuel how he was able to calm down the German Shepherd that was running loose on the street. Samuel tells Romy that he gave a cookie to the dog, and he flirtatiously asks Romy if she wants a cookie too.
Samuel also tells Romy that she was signed up to his personal mentor during this internship. It’s an excuse for Romy and Samuel to have private meetings inside and outside the office. At first, Romy doesn’t believe that she was signed up to be Samuel’s mentor without her knowledge. But when she asks Esme about it, Esme says the internship program will make Romy look more accessible.
And so, Romy agrees to have a 10-minute meeting with Samuel, who continues to test her boundaries. There is an unspoken attraction between Romy and Samuel that heats up the more that they see each other. Samuel’s seduction of Romy starts off gradually but then it ramps up fairly quickly when he figures out that she wants to be a submissive to a dominant sexual partner.
A pivotal scene to this revelation is when Samuel sees Romy with some colleagues at a restaurant/bar during a work get-together. Samuel orders a glass of milk for Romy, and she drinks it all. As seen in the movie’s trailer, after Romy drinks the milk, he whispers to her, “Good girl.”
“Babygirl” has the expected erotic scenes showing domination and submission, with obvious parallels in how Samuel was able to control the German Shepherd to how he is able to control Romy in this BDSM relationship. And if these parallels aren’t obvious enough, there’s a non-sexual scene with Samuel and the dog in a hotel room that mirrors a scenario that Samuel had with Romy. For example, Samuel makes Romy eat food from his hand, just like someone might do to a dog.
However, there are other layers to Romy’s life that show who she is outside of her sexual desires. Esme sees Romy as a mentor and wants a promotion, but things get complicated when Romy notices that Samueland Esme have a flirtatious attraction to each other. Although Samuel and Romy by no means have an agreement to be “exclusive” with each other, Romy can’t help but feel jealous and insecure that she could have competition with a younger woman who is also her subordinate.
Isabel is openly lesbian or queer, and her sexuality is not a problem or issue with her parents. Isabel has a girlfriend named Mary (played by Gabrielle Policano), who is known and accepted by Isabel’s immediate family. However, when Romy, Jacob and their kids are spending time at their second home in suburban New York City, Romy notices Isabel kissing a 17-year-old neighborhood girl named Ophelia (played by Tess McMillan) in the home’s backyard swimming pool.
When Romy asks Isabel about it later, Isabel responds by saying: “I’m in love with Mary. I’m just having fun with Ophelia.” It’s the first sign that Isabel and Romy are more alike than they think they are. Later, Isabel is the first person in Romy’s family to notice that something is “off” with Romy when Romy’s affair with Samuel gets more intense. Fans of 1980s pop music will appreciate hearing INXS’s “Never Tear Us Apart” and George Michael’s “Father Figure” in two of the movie’s memorable seduction scenes.
As the secret affair between Romy and Samuel heats up, they both start to take more risks. Romy meets Samuel for a steamy tryst at a nightclub, even though there’s a chance that anyone they know could see Romy and Samuel together in this public place. In another scene in the movie, Samuel shows up at Romy’s house unannounced and uninvited to return her laptop computer, but it’s really a way for him to test Romy’s reaction. The main suspense in “Babygirl” is in seeing if anyone will find out about Romy’s secret affair. And if so, what will happen?
One of the flaws of “Babygirl” is that the movie doesn’t give too many details about Romy’s background to explain why she is the person she is. In a conversation with Esme, Romy mentions that she was named Romy by a guru because Romy grew up in a commune. Esme jokes that she thought Romy was raised by robots. Romy mentions in a separate conversation with Samuel that she graduated summa cum laude from Yale University. Samuel replies that he thinks she likes being told what to do.
Before Romy began her affair with Samuel, a scene shows her trying to persuade Jacob to be “dominant” with her during sex, by asking him to have sex with her while he covers her face with a pillow. He awkwardly grants her request but he stops because he says he can’t do it because it makes him feel like a villain. Romy is disappointed but she doesn’t fully explain to a confused Jacob why she made this request.
Sex workers who are paid to dominate people sexually often say that their clients are usually powerful leaders who are secret submissives because the clients feel like it’s freeing to be in sexual situations that are the opposite of the responsibilities and burdens that they have in their work life. It would be easy to assume that Romy might have developed her BDSM desires after she became a CEO, but there’s a scene in the movie where Romy confesses that she’s had these dominant/submissive thoughts going back to her childhood.
Even less background information is revealed about Samuel, although his pursuit of Esme at the same time he pursues Romy is certainly an indication that he’s a serial seducer. As such, Dickinson’s performance as Samuel is effective but intentionally mysterious about who Samuel really is. All of the cast members give believable performances, but none of the performances can come close to the myriad of emotions that Kidman portrays in Romy’s complicated feelings of shame, liberation, arousal and denial.
“Babygirl” doesn’t pass judgment on people who make BDSM choices in their sex lives. Instead, the movie tells one woman’s personal journey in exploring her previously repressed BDSM fantasies. The sex is a manifestation of other issues that are left open to interpretation but can be ascertained as Romy’s desperation to express a part of herself that she can’t share with most people. The movie keeps viewers guessing until the very end if Romy’s choices will ruin her marriage, but the true intention of “Babygirl” is showing how Romy can save herself from self-deception.
A24 will release “Babygirl” in U.S. cinemas on December 25, 2024.