Review: ‘Bros’ (2022), starring Billy Eichner and Luke Macfarlane

September 30, 2022

by Carla Hay

Billy Eichner and Luke Macfarlane in “Bros” (Photo by Nicole Rivelli/Universal Pictures)

“Bros” (2022)

Directed by Nicholas Stoller

Culture Representation: Taking place in New York and briefly in Provincetown, Massachusetts, the comedy film “Bros” features a cast of predominantly white characters (with some African Americans, Asians and Latinos) representing the working-class, middle-class and wealthy.

Culture Clash: An openly gay podcaster/writer, who is very cynical about finding love, begins a new job as executive director of a museum for LGBTQ+ history and culture, around the same time that he finds himself falling in love with a man whom he thinks isn’t his “type.” 

Culture Audience: “Bros” will appeal primarily to people interested in well-written, adult-oriented romantic comedies from a gay, cisgender male perspective.

Pictured clockwise, from left: Ts Madison, Billy Eichner, Miss Lawrence, Eve Lindley, Jim Rash and Dot-Marie Jones in “Bros” (Photo by Nicole Rivelli/Universal Pictures)

Blending real talk about relationships, some hilarious sex scenes, and a sweet-natured romance at the heart of the story, “Bros” is a romantic comedy that has Billy Eichner’s boldly sarcastic style written all over it. It’s made for open-minded adults. It also helps if people know a lot of about pop culture and LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer) history to understand many of the jokes in the movie. “Bros” had its world premiere at the 2022 Toronto International Film Festival.

Directed by Nicholas Stoller (who co-wrote the “Bros” screenplay with Eichner), “Bros” is a history-making film because it’s the first major studio movie in wide release with a majority LGBTQ+ cast and co-written by an openly gay man. Considering that it took this long for this cinematic milestone to happen, “Bros” is a triumph and an instant classic LGBTQ movie. Just because the movie centers on a gay man and his love life, that doesn’t mean this movie is only for LGBTQ people. However, “Bros” definitely earns its Motion Pictures of America Association rating recommendation for people ages 17 and up, because of the movie’s sexual content, adult language and drug use. As the saying goes, “Viewer discretion is advised.”

In “Bros,” Eichner portrays 40-year-old Bobby Leiber, an openly gay podcaster/writer who is famous enough to be on the cover of The Advocate magazine. Bobby has an unapologetically activist attitude when it comes to advocating for LGBTQ rights and speaking out against homophobia. Eichner has said in interviews that some of Bobby’s personality and life are inspired by Eichner’s own real-life experiences, but “Bros” is not an autobiographical film.

Bobby is also very aware that as a cisgender white man, he gets more privileges than LGBTQ people who aren’t cisgender white men. The movie opens with Bobby making an episode of his podcast “The 11th Brick at Stonewall.” It’s in reference to the 1969 Stonewall uprising in New York City that is considered a turning point in the LGBTQ civil rights movement. The uprising happened as a way for LGBTQ people to show that they were fed up with homophobic arrests and harassment from police, and they fought back in groups against the police. Throwing bricks was part of this Stonewall uprising.

It’s an example of why “Bros” viewers need to know about this brick throwing and Stonewall to understand why Bobby makes this comment about why he named his podcast “The 11th Brick at Stonewall,” and why Bobby knows how LGBTQ history, just like heterosexual-oriented history, tends to erase the contributions of people who aren’t white men: “Because we all know a butch lesbian or a trans woman of color probably threw the first brick at Stonewall, but it was a cis white gay man who threw the 11th brick,” Bobby says. Later in the movie, Bobby points out how transgender female activists Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera were the real heroes of the Stonewall uprising but often don’t get the credit for it because Johnson and Rivera were transgender women of color.

Bobby is a bachelor who says he’s never been in love and has never dated anyone for more than three months. He’s very cynical about the possibility of ending up with a soul mate, and he doesn’t really believe that monogamy works for him. Other than feeling unlucky when it comes to romantic love, Bobby is happy with his life because he’s healthy, and his friends and his work keep him fulfilled.

Bobby, who has no siblings, was born and raised in New York City. He was raised Jewish, but he is not particularly religious or spiritual. His mother died when Bobby was in college, and his father died when Bobby was 10 years old. In “Bros,” no other biological family members of Bobby are shown. Like many gay people, Bobby has a “chosen family” that is a tight-knit circle of friends, most of whom are also LGBTQ.

The first 15 minutes of “Bros” show that Bobby has been trying to branch out in his career besides doing his podcast. During his podcast, when a caller asks Bobby, if he’s going to write any more books, Bobby talks about his failed career as a children’s book author. His children’s book “Are You There, God? It’s Martina Navratilova” was a flop. Bobby sarcastically says, “Hey, parents, thanks for teaching kids about Santa Claus—a straight man who doesn’t exist—and not about Martina Navratilova, a lesbian who does.”

Bobby also tells his audience that on his social media, he uploaded an outtake from his failed “Queer Eye” audition, where he was trying out to be one of the co-hosts of this Emmy-winning Netflix series about gay men who give life makeovers to people whose lives are stuck in a rut. “Bros” shows this “outtake” clip of Bobby looking unimpressed, while the “Queer Eye” hosts (actors portraying the real hosts) are nearby crying over the makeover they’ve just completed for a man with a sob story. Bobby deadpans, “I’m sorry, this isn’t sad. You gave him a haircut and a pair of pants.”

Bobby has also tried to become a movie screenwriter, with mixed results. “Bros” shows a brief flashback of Bobby in a meeting with an unnamed Hollywood executive (played by Doug Trapp), who wants Bobby to write a gay romantic comedy movie. The executive says, “We just want to make a movie that shows the world that gay relationships are the same [as straight relationships]. Love is love is love.”

An offended Bobby then goes on a rant and says that “Love is love is love” was a “lie” invented by LGBTQ people just to get more acceptance from heterosexual people. Bobby then lectures the executive by saying that dating for LGBTQ people is very different from dating for heterosexual people. And before Bobby ends the meeting by storming out, Bobby says that not all gay people are smart or nice.

To his podcast audience, Bobby opens up about how lonely his love life can be and how he usually has meaningless sexual encounters with men he meets on dating apps such as Grindr. Although Bobby says it doesn’t really bother him that he’s perpetually single and often alone, you can tell it really does bother him. He sighs with an air of resignation, “I’m not the right person to write a rom-com anyway.”

Things are looking up for Bobby in his career though. At the LGBTQ+ Pride Awards (where Bobby is a presenter, and which features actress/LGBTQ ally Kristin Chenoweth as herself in a cameo), Bobby announces that he’s been named executive director of the National Museum of LGBTQ+ History and Culture. Bobby will be the first executive director of this non-profit museum, which will open in New York City sometime in less than a year, after the museum’s grand opening was postponed multiple times already. His job includes fundraising and making decisions about the museum’s exhibits. Bobby will continue to be a podcaster, but the museum is now his main job.

Not long after sharing this big news, Bobby attends a launch party for a gay dating app called Zellweger, which is for men who want to sexually hook up with each other and talk about famous actresses. Bobby’s friend Henry (played by Guy Branum) works for Zellweger and has invited Bobby to this party, which is at a nightclub filled with shirtless and good-looking men dancing with each other. It’s at this party that Bobby meets Aaron Shepard (played by Luke Macfarlane), who is one of the shirtless, good-looking men.

Bobby and Aaron (who is in his early 40s) strike up a casual and mildly flirtatious conversation. Within the first few minutes, it’s obvious that Aaron is not the type of guy whom Bobby is usually attracted to on an intellectual or emotional level. For starters, Bobby is disappointed that Aaron doesn’t recognize a Mariah Carey remix song that’s playing at the party. Aaron says he prefers country music, and his favorite artist is Garth Brooks. Bobby is not a fan of country music.

Aaron also works in probate law as an estate planner. In other words, he helps people write their wills. Bobby thinks it’s a stuffy and boring corporate job. Bobby prefers to date men whom he thinks has more exciting lives than the type of life that Aaron seems to have. Bobby is a motormouth, while Aaron is a lot less talkative. Still, Bobby and Aaron seem to share the same sarcastic sense of humor, and they make each other laugh.

Bobby also finds out that Aaron isn’t quite as dull and uptight as Bobby thought he was on first impression. Aaron points out two shirtless men (played by Keith Milkie and Alex Ringler) on the dance floor. Aaron tells Bobby that the two men are a couple, and Aaron has a date to have sex with both of them after the party.

In “Bros,” hookup culture (which includes a lot of group sex) is explicitly depicted as a fact of life for many single (and sometimes married) gay/queer men. It’s the type of reality that Bobby says should be discussed more openly and honestly when people talk about the LGBTQ community to heterosexual people. “Bros” also has a scene of poppers (a drug that’s inhaled) being used during sexual activity. If you don’t know how common it is for gay men to use poppers, then “Bros” aims to enlighten viewers.

As much as Bobby doesn’t think he’s attracted to Aaron, Bobby gets annoyed when Aaron seems to give him the brushoff at the party. Bobby and Aaron tell each other that they’re not looking for a serious relationship, but Bobby is less willing than Aaron to play it cool. Bobby also sends mixed messages to Aaron. During their first meeting, Bobby insults Aaron by telling him that he heard that Aaron is “boring,” but Bobby still expects Aaron to be charmed enough by Bobby to pursue a romantic relationship with Bobby.

Of course, Bobby and Aaron end up dating each other, but they both struggle with trying to define their relationship and how “committed” they should be to each other. Describing each other as a “boyfriend” would be a big step for them. Throughout their relationship, Bobby is insecure that Aaron won’t find Bobby physically attractive enough, while Aaron is insecure that Bobby won’t find Aaron exciting enough.

“Bros” hits a lot of familiar beats that are often in heterosexual romantic comedies, where two single people start dating each other and try to figure out if the relationship is meant to last. There are jealousy issues, commitment issues and family acceptance issues. And there’s at least one big argument that leads to a turning point where the couple has to decide to break up or stay together. Thankfully, “Bros” does not have the treacly and over-used cliché of someone racing to an airport to confess true feelings, in order for the couple to be together.

“Bros” has a snappy and often-breezy tone that points out the nuances and diversity in the LGBTQ community. Bobby oversees a staff that exemplifies this diversity and how different agendas in the LGBTQ community often compete for priorities and have other conflicts. Staff meetings often turn into arguments where the staffers fight for museum exhibits that represent their particular sexual or gender identity.

The museum staffers include gender-fluid/gender-nonconforming Tamara (played by Miss Lawrence), butch lesbian Cherry (played by Dot-Marie Jones), bisexual man Robert (played by Jim Rash) and trangsender women Angela (played by Ts Madison) and Tamara (played by Eve Lindley). One of the staff arguments is about how to present a museum exhibit of 16th U.S. president Abraham Lincoln and his close companion Captain David Derickson, who wrote love letters to each other and slept in the same bed when first lady Mary Lincoln was away. Bobby feels strongly that the museum should describe Abraham Lincoln as a closeted gay man, while Robert insists that Abraham Lincoln was bisexual.

In addition to the drama about the museum exhibits, Bobby also has to contend with raising enough money to open the museum, which needs about $5 million in order to launch. These fundraising efforts lead to laugh-out-loud scenes with actress Debra Messing (playing a version of herself) and Bowen Yang (playing a gay and wealthy TV producer named Lawrence “Larry” Grape) as potentially major donors to the museum. Messing has a cameo in “Bros,” but it’s a truth-telling appearance where she lashes out about gay men thinking she’s the same as the Grace Adler character (a straight woman with a gay male best friend) that she portrayed in the sitcom “Will & Grace.”

Somehow, all of the scenes of Bobby and his job challenges aren’t a distraction from the main plot about Bobby and Aaron’s relationship. The movie is written in a way to show that what Bobby learns from his mistakes on the job and in his love life are intertwined and affect each other. Bobby is far from perfect: He can be stubborn, selfish and mean-spirited. But he’s also kind, generous and open to improving himself.

Aaron learns from Bobby about what it’s like to take bold risks in life, since Aaron tends to make decisions where he doesn’t have to go outside of his comfort zone. Aaron confides in Bobby that Aaron hates his job and has had a secret childhood dream to have another job, which is detailed in the movie. It’s at this point in the movie where you know what’s going to happen to Aaron’s childhood dream. Bobby also has a childhood dream that “Bros” handles in a heartwarming and sentimental way.

Aaron comes from a completely different world and upbringing than what Bobby has experienced. Aaron grew up in upstate New York with his married parents, including his schoolteacher mother Anne (played by Amanda Bearse), and older brother Jason (played by Jai Rodriguez), who know he is gay but don’t really like to discuss it openly. Bobby has been openly gay since he was an underage kid. Aaron came out as gay later in life, when Aaron was an adult. Aaron also grew up in a suburban area that is a lot more politically conservative than New York City.

But wait, there’s more: “Bros” has a love triangle subplot that doesn’t get too messy, even though this subplot wasn’t that necessary to put in the movie. The love triangle happens when Bobby and Aaron are on a date at a movie theater, and they happen to have a conversation with a former high school classmate of Aaron’s named Josh Evans (played by Ryan Faucett), who was on the school’s hockey team with Aaron. When they were students, Aaron was still in the closet about his sexuality, and he used to have a secret crush on Josh.

As the movie’s central couple, Eichner and Macfarlane have believable chemistry as two people in an “opposites attract” romance. Eichner gives a better and more natural-looking performance, in large part because he created the role for himself. Macfarlane has a few moments where his acting is stilted and seems forced, but overall his performance has a lot of affable charm. Macfarlane has previously starred in Hallmark Channel romantic movies. “Bros” pokes fun at a TV network called Hallheart (which is an obvious spoof of the real-life Hallmark Channel), which is depicted as being culturally late in having movies centered on LGBTQ people and trying to make up for it by having more LGBTQ-themed movies than ever before.

“Bros” has numerous supporting characters without overstuffing the movie and confusing viewers. Many of these supporting characters are in Bobby’s circle of friends, such as elderly Louis (played by Harvey Fierstein), who lives in Provincetown, Massachusetts (a popular vacation city for gay men). Louis lets Bobby and Aaron stay at his place when Bobby and Aaron are in Provincetown for Pride festivities. Bobby is also close with a gay couple named Peter (played by Peter Kim) and Paul (played by Justin Covington), who are dating a man named Marty (played by Symone), in a “throuple” relationship.

Other friends of Bobby’s are straight married couple Tina (played by Monica Raymund) and Edgar (played by Guillermo Diaz), who are progressive liberals. Tina and Edgar have two children named Hannah (played by Dahlia Rodriguez), who’s about 5 years old, and Brian (played by Derrick Delgado), who’s abut 8 years old. Tina and Edgar think that Brian might be gay, and they have no problem with it, but Tina and Edgar occasionally ask Bobby for thoughts on what he thinks a gay child needs from supportive parents. Bobby often confides in Tina about his love life.

With all of these characters and subplots, “Bros” has a total running time (115 minutes) that’s longer than a typical romantic comedy. The movie isn’t perfect, because it tends to ramble and get a little repetitive about how commitment-phobic Bobby and Aaron are. Still, the nearly two-hour runtime of “Bros” is worth it if people want to see a highly entertaining and witty romantic comedy, where the adult relationships aren’t toned down to present an unrealistic and sappy story.

Universal Pictures released “Bros” in U.S. cinemas on September 30, 2022.

Review: ‘Golden Arm,’ starring Mary Holland, Betsy Sodaro, Olivia Stambouliah, Eugene Cordero, Dawn Luebbe, Dot-Marie Jones and Ron Funches

May 7, 2021

by Carla Hay

Betsy Sodaro and Mary Holland (both arm wrestling) in “Golden Arm” (Photo courtesy of Utopia Distribution)

“Golden Arm”

Directed by Maureen Bharoocha

Culture Representation: Taking place in Kanasas, Oklahoma, and a few other U.S. states, the comedy film “Golden Arm” features a predominantly white cast of characters (with some African Americans and Asians) representing the middle-class and the working-class.

Culture Clash: A mild-mannered baker is recruited by her truck-driving best friend to enter an arm-wrestling tournament.

Culture Audience: “Golden Arm” will appeal primarily to people who are interested in watching a foul-mouthed but ultimately sentimental and predictable comedy film.

Dawn Luebbe and Olivia Stambouliah in “Golden Arm” (Photo courtesy of Utopia Distribution)

A movie as formulaic as the comedy “Golden Arm” can be enjoyable if the cast members make the film more interesting. Thanks largely to a charming performance by lead actress Mary Holland, “Golden Arm” is a breezy and occasionally raunchy story of how a shy baker ended up as a serious contender in an arm-wrestling tournament. Of course, the story is about much more than winning the contest and more about how what she discovers about herself along the way.

“Golden Arm” is the feature-film directorial debut of Maureen Bharoocha, who has a background in directing television (such as ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live”) and short films. The “Golden Arm” screenplay (written by Ann Marie Allison and Jenna Milly) hits all the major clichés of sports comedies and buddy comedies. There’s a big sports competition with a high-stakes prize for the protagonists. There’s a duo of opposite personalities who are stuck together while traveling, with some inevitable bickering and a falling out or two. And, of course, there’s a villain who’s intent on defeating the protagonists.

In “Golden Arm,” Holland portrays a meek and neurotic baker named Melanie, who is in her mid-30s and who lives somewhere in Kansas. Melanie is financially struggling to keep her bakery in business. She’s the bakery’s only employee. And her personal life is also in a rut, because her marriage of five years has ended in divorce. The movie’s first scene with Melanie features her arrogant ex-husband Steve (played by Matt Newell) showing up unannounced at the bakery so that Melanie can sign the final divorce papers.

As an example of Melanie being afraid of confrontation, the movie shows that she has a regular customer named Kristen (played by Lauren Knutti), a snooty yoga instructor who orders the same thing every time: a cup of coffee, which automatically comes with a free scone. Kristen makes a point of demanding the scone, she takes one bite, and then makes sure that Melanie sees her throws the scone away in the bakery’s trash bin. Melanie displays a cheerful “the customer is always right” attitude, but inside she’s seething at Kristen’s insulting rudeness.

And speaking of rude people, Melanie’s best friend/former college roommate is the loud and obnoxious Danny (played by Betsy Sodaro), who drives a big rig truck for a living. In her free time, Danny loves to hang out in bars, arm wrestle, and pick fights with unsuspecting people. However, Danny is fiercely loyal to the friends that she has, which include a group of female arm wrestlers called The Dominators.

The opening of “Golden Arm” shows Danny in a seedy-looking bar and losing a wrestling match to someone who’s an even bigger menace than Danny is: Brenda (played by Olivia Stambouliah), also known by her arm wrestling name The Bone Crusher. Danny loses so badly that her wrist is fractured. In retaliation, Danny head butts Brenda, and they get into a big brawl.

Outside the bar, Danny gripes about Brenda to Danny’s friends Jerry (played by Ahmed Bharoocha), Rambea (played by Veronique Parker) and Momo (played by Ashley Mandanas): “She’s getting rid of all of the competition so that she can get the Grand Slam. And there’s no way in hell I’m going to let her win this tournament! We need somebody new, somebody she’s not expecting. We need a ringer.”

You know what that means. It isn’t long before Danny shows up at Melanie’s bakery and asks her to go on a big rig haul with her to make some money and have a gal pal road trip. Melanie and Danny haven’t seen each other in a while, but they still consider each other to be close friends. Later in the movie, there are a few flashbacks of Melanie and Danny during their college roommate days, when they used to smoke marijuana and arm wrestle for fun.

At first, Melanie immediately declines Danny’s offer to go on a road trip. Melanie’s excuse is that she can’t afford to take time off from work. But when Danny tells her that they will make enough money to help Melanie pay her increasing debt and bills, Melanie changes her mind and calculates that she can afford to close the bakery for about a week to go on the trip.

During their road trip in Danny’s truck, viewers find out that Melanie and Danny’s favorite song is Heart’s 1980s hit “These Dreams.” Cue the scene where they sing along to “These Dreams” in the truck. It’s not the last time the song will be heard in the movie. Danny and Melanie also stop at a bar, where a misunderstanding happens between the bar’s no-nonsense owner Randy (played by Kate Flannery) and Melanie.

To smooth things over, Danny suggests that Melanie and Randy arm wrestle each other, and the winner will get some cash. Some of the bar patrons take bets. The odds are in favor of Randy, because of her tough demeanor. But viewers shouldn’t be surprised when Melanie wins, because why else would Danny think that Melanie was a good candidate to be in an arm wrestling tournament on short notice?

This small victory boosts Melanie’s confidence. And so, Danny decides the time is right to reveal the real agenda for the trip. Danny tells Melanie about the national arm wrestling tournament in Oklahoma City that she wants Melanie to enter. Melanie reluctantly agrees to compete in the tournament because the grand prize is $15,000.

Melanie hasn’t arm wrestled in years and feels like her wrestling skills are rusty. During their road trip, Melanie reluctantly agrees to do some training with a tough-talking taskmaster named Big Sexy (played by Dot-Marie Jones), who is a friend of Danny’s. Big Sexy, who has 15 arm-wrestling world titles, is shocked to find out that Melanie is actually a powerhouse arm wrestler.

However, Melanie gets angry about Danny pressuring her to be in the tournament, and they argue about it. She tells Danny: “I’m just so sick of everyone dictating my life! I never put myself first! I don’t listen to my gut!”

Eventually, Melanie calms down and says she’ll still be in the tournament. Melanie and Danny continue on to Oklahoma City. However, Melanie keeps getting plagued by self-doubt, and there are more moments in the film where she might or might not quit the tournament. The event is being held at a place called Star Arena, which really just looks like a large dive bar.

Meanwhile, Melanie has an awkward “meet cute” moment with a potential love interest named Greg (played by Eugene Cordero), when they both end up in their underwear in the same dressing room. Greg is a Major League Baseball umpire, he’s single, and there’s an immediate attraction between him and Melanie. Their blossoming romance is sweet and a counterbalance to a lot of the crudeness in the movie.

As watchable as Holland is in “Golden Arm,” a lot of viewers might find Sodaro’s Danny character very grating and hard to take. Danny’s over-aggressiveness is best served in small doses. However, there are enough comedic moments with Danny that might give people some chuckles. One of the funniest running gags is the lusty relationship that Danny has with tournament emcee/referee Carl (played by Ron Funches), which results in some amusing slapstick comedy.

Stambouliah’s portrayal of ruthless villain Deborah is very caricature-like. Deborah, who is constantly snarling or smirking, dresses in an outer corset and other clothes that look like she watched too many episodes of “Xena: Warrior Princess.” Deborah has a sniveling sidekick named Tessie (played by Dawn Luebbe), who brings some occasional laughs to the story.

Although “Golden Arm” plays out exactly like you think it does, there’s enough originality in the story so that it isn’t a completely paint-by-numbers project. Aparna Nancherla has a small but scene-stealing role as an arm wrestler named Coco Cherie, who dresses like a mermaid cosplayer. Coco Cherie has a hilarious monologue in the movie about the differences between labia and testicles and how they can be used in metaphors for bravery.

Melanie’s experience in this wrestling tournament doesn’t go very smoothly, because “Golden Arm” is a stereotypical underdog story. She goes through three different name changes for her wrestling persona, which is also symbolic of Melanie’s search for self-confidence and her true identity during this life-changing trip. All of the production elements of “Golden Arm” are solid, although at times it looks like a made-for-TV movie. And that’s okay. Not all entertaining movies have to be Oscar-worthy, just like not all arm wrestlers can be champions.

Utopia Distribution released “Golden Arm” in select U.S. cinemas, on digital and VOD on April 30, 2021.

Review: ‘The Swing of Things,’ starring Chord Overstreet, Olivia Culpo, Adelaide Kane and Luke Wilson

July 14, 2020

by Carla Hay

Olivia Culpo and Chord Overstreet in “The Swing of Things” (Photo courtesy of Lionsgate)

“The Swing of Things”

Directed by Matt Shapira

Culture Representation: Taking place in Los Angeles and Jamaica, the sex comedy “The Swing of Things” has a predominantly white cast (with some black people) representing the middle-class.

Culture Clash: A straight-laced American bride and groom’s wedding plans are drastically altered when a plane detour causes them to have their wedding at a swingers’ resort in Jamaica.

Culture Audience: “The Swing of Things” will appeal primarily to people who don’t mind watching badly made comedies that are a waste of time.

Luke Wilson in “The Swing of Things” (Photo courtesy of Lionsgate)

It seems like the main motivation for “The Swing of Things” cast to make this movie was to get an expenses-paid trip to Jamaica. It certainly couldn’t have been the mind-numbing, awful screenplay of this so-called comedy. “The Swing of Things” (sloppily directed by Matt Shapira) is not only humorless but it’s also incredibly dull for a movie that tries to pretend that it’s wild and edgy because most of the story takes place at a swingers’ resort.

The most pathetic aspect of how this moronic movie got made is that five people are credited with writing “The Swing of Things” screenplay: Patrick McErlean, Christopher Hewitson, Clayton Hewitson, Justin Jonas and Scotty Mullen. It’s proof of that old cliché: “Too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the broth.” In this case, the “broth” is the type of rotten garbage that is an apt description for this stinker of a movie, where most of the acting is so bad that you might experience some brain rot if you keep watching.

It takes a while (the first third of the movie) for “The Swing of Things” to actually get to the destination wedding trip that is supposed to be at the center of the story. The movie first introduces viewers to the future bride and groom, and then shows how they met. By the way, these two “lovebirds”—Tommy (played by Chord Overstreet) and Laura Jane McGursky (played by Olivia Culpo)—have no believable chemistry together. But even if they did, it still wouldn’t help this ridiculously horrible movie.

Tommy works for an advertising agency that’s run by an egotistical, crude sexist named Ricky (played by Aleksander Vayshelboym), who treats women as nothing more than body parts he can play with sexually. At the ad agency’s headquarters in Los Angeles, the company’s past print ad campaigns are proudly on display as posters on the walls of the conference room. One of these poster displays is of a beer ad that shows a beer bottle’s contents being poured down a nearly naked bikini bottom of a woman, to simulate a “golden shower” while another woman is posed underneath with her mouth open, as if she’s ready to swallow. That’s what passes for “humor” in this movie.

Tommy and Ricky are stressed-out because they have an important meeting with a rich client named Jon Johnson (played by Jon Lovitz, doing his usual smarmy schtick) to pitch an ad campaign for the client’s jet packs, which Jon wants to sell to the public as high-priced adventure toys. Tommy’s ad slogan for the jet packs is “Making the future fun again.” Jon (who’s surrounded by two trophy girlfriends and a small group of bodyguards) isn’t completely sold until Tommy comes up with an idea to describe the jet-pack experience that gets Jon’s enthusiastic approval: “It’s like a vibrator for your mind.”

Meanwhile, also in Los Angeles, Laura is an aspiring fashion designer who wants to make clothes for dogs. Her career isn’t going so well and she’s struggling to make money. Laura has two roommates: a down-to-earth Australian named Georgia (played by Adelaide Kane) and a self-admitted alcoholic and nymphomaniac named Molly (named Leslie Stratton), who utters lines like, “Get ready, because his dick will be like a McDonald’s milkshake machine.”

The only reason why the character of Molly seems to have been written for this movie is so she could have a threesome with two men. That’s what happens when Laura, with Georgia’s help, puts on a small doggie fashion show in their apartment for some potential customers, but the fashion show is ruined by the sounds of the threesome going at it in a nearby bedroom. After this scene, Molly isn’t seen or heard from again.

Tommy and Laura have a not-very-interesting “meet cute” scene at a food truck. The movie then fast forwards to Tommy and Laura getting engaged. The engagement party dinner includes Laura’s roommate/best friend Georgia; Laura’s free-spirited parents Mama McGursky (played by Carol Hennesy) and Papa McGursky (played by E.E. Bell); Tommy’s more traditional parents Sherry (played by Linda Purl) and Manfred (played by Matt McCoy), who’s a workaholic businessman; and Laura’s older adopted brother Lance (played by Luke Wilson), who drunkenly confesses that he’s always been jealous of Laura because she’s the biological child of their parents.

And the next thing you know, they and Tommy’s boss Ricky are all on a plane to the Bahamas, where Tommy and Laura’s wedding is supposed to take place. Of course, in a predictable sex comedy like this one, there has to be a “Mile High Club” encounter on the plane. But even that tryst (with Ricky and a woman who looks old enough to be his mother) is poorly written and brings no laughs.

By the way, Ricky likes to put on a Japanese headband before he has sex. It’s like he’s doing some kind of creepy, dumb tribute to “The Karate Kid.” Ralph Macchio would not be proud.

And wouldn’t you know, things go wrong with the trip when an announcement comes over the plane that, due to weather problems in the Bahamas, the plane has to be rerouted to Jamaica instead. When the wedding party gets to Jamaica, they all find out the wedding, which is in four days, can’t be held in the Bahamas because no one would be able to get there on time. Therefore, they decide to have the wedding in Jamaica. And the only place available is a Hedonism II resort, which is a known vacation spot for swingers.

One of the things that is immediately noticeable about the casting for “The Swing of Things” is that while there’s diversity in how the young men look, all the young women are way above-average in their looks. There isn’t one young woman in this cast who doesn’t look like some kind of model, which is very unrealistic. If “The Swing of Things” director Shapira had a casting call sheet for the young actresses he wanted to cast in the movie, he might as well have just put, “Only thin, pretty women will be get the job.” In the real world, a resort like Hedonism II has young women of various body types and looks, but don’t tell that to a director who clearly wanted mostly “hot chicks” in his movie.

The movie has the predictable close-up shots of naked breasts and showing the backsides of women in thong bikinis. But director Shapira also has a weird fixation on doing close-ups of the penises of black men in tight Speedos—and only the black men. Perhaps the director has some racist stereotypes and insecurities to work out about the sizes of black men’s genitals, compared to white men’s, but it’s pretty obvious he didn’t want any close-ups of white men’s privates parts in the way he almost fetishizes the black men’s genitals in this movie.

There’s a problematic scene where an all-black group of men who work at the resort offer to give massages to the women in the wedding party. But since this is a swingers’ resort, these “masseurs” assume that the women want more than massages, so these white women are sexually harassed and sexually fondled/assaulted by black men in the massage rooms. The women are able to fight them off and get away. It’s all played for laughs in the movie, but there’s a racist and sexist tone to this scene that’s reprehensible and not funny at all.

There’s also a character named Ira Goldstein (played by Oliver Cooper), who works as the resort’s promoter, but what he really wants to do is open a dry-cleaning business with his Jamaican wife. Ira first meets the members of the wedding party when they arrive at the airport, and he’s the one who recommends that they stay at Hedonism II. The running gag with Ira is that he’s from New York’s Long Island, but he talks in a fake Jamaican accent so that he can appear to be an “authentic” Jamaican. Can you say cultural appropriation?

And it gets even more insufferable with Ira, since he’s constantly hitting up the resort guests (including Tommy’s father Manfred) for money to invest in his non-existent business. Needless to say, the Ira character is a major pest. However, Cooper gives one of the better performances in this movie that’s filled with bad acting. Kane also shows glimmers of talent, but the movie’s screenplay and direction (including amateurish, choppy editing) are so terrible, that any talent that she might have just gets lost in the stink of it all.

Dot-Marie Jones has an awkwardly written cameo as a sex therapist named Finlay Roosevelt, who gets Tommy’s parents and Laura’s parents to “loosen up.” It’s as cringeworthy as it sounds. As for Wilson, who wears a Panama hat throughout the movie as if he’s some of kind of goofball Indiana Jones, this was clearly “just a paycheck” movie for him, since his terrible performance as Laura’s annoying and irresponsible older brother Lance is downright embarrassing.

As for the wedding couple, it should come as no surprise that having their wedding at a swingers’ resort will result in temptations and insecurities/accusations about who might be cheating. And as if this stupid movie couldn’t get any more unimaginative, there’s a cliché “race against time to the airport before it’s too late to tell this person how I feel” scene that’s a tired ripoff of many other romantic comedies that have done the same thing.

Because most of this film is set on location in a resort in Jamaica, the cast and crew of “The Swing of Things” probably had some fun making this movie. Too bad anyone unlucky enough to watch this putrid trash won’t be having any fun at all.

Lionsgate released “The Swing of Things” on Blu-ray, DVD, digital and VOD on July 14, 2020.

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