fantasy Archives – CULTURE MIX

Review: ‘Red One’ (2024), starring Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans, Lucy Liu and J.K. Simmons

November 12, 2024

by Carla Hay

Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans in “Red One” (Photo by Karen Neal/Amazon Content Services)

“Red One” (2024)

Directed by Jake Kasdan

Culture Representation: Taking place in the United States and in the fictional North Pole, the sci-fi/fantasy/action film “Red One” features a predominantly white cast of characters (with some African Americans and Asians) and fictional creatures representing the working-class, middle-class and wealthy.

Culture Clash: A rebellious bounty hunter/computer hacker and Santa Claus’ uptight security chief meet each other and team up to find and rescue Santa Claus, who has been kidnapped.

Culture Audience: “Red One” will appeal mainly to people who are fans of the movie’s headliners and Christmas-themed movies that are loud, hyperactive and silly.

Kristofer Hivju and Dwayne Johnson in “Red One” (Photo by Frank Masi/Amazon Content Services)

The Christmas action comedy “Red One” is the equivalent of Santa Claus delivering an avalanche of coal. The incoherent plot is about rescuing a kidnapped Santa, but viewers will feel like the ones being taken hostage by this unfunny and bloated abomination. It’s the type of big-budget movie that looks like it came from a low-rent concept for a video game with product placements.

Directed by Jake Kasdan and written by Chris Morgan, “Red One” lurches from scene to scene, often by explaining what’s going on in a sloppy and hyperactive way. There is no character in this movie that has an emotional range that goes beyond (1) inflicting chaos or (2) reacting to the chaos inflicted. There’s some half-hearted preaching about adults keeping their inner child alive during the Christmas holidays, but it all comes across as tacked-on sentimentality.

Product placements and visual effects are the main priorities for “Red One,” which has a story that’s overstuffed with stupid distractions and moronic dialogue. The movie clumsily begins with a scene showing future bounty hunter Jack O’Malley as a kid (played by Wyatt Hunt), who’s about 8 or 9 years old and has an enthusiasm for using the Internet. Jack doesn’t really believe in Santa Claus, even though Jack’s Uncle Rick (played by Marc Evan Jackson) tells Jack that Santa Claus really exists. It’s mentioned that Rick is a father figure in Jack’s life because Jack’s biological father abandoned Jack and Jack’s mother.

Thirty years later, Jack (played by Chris Evans) is a bounty hunter and an elusive hacker on the Dark Web, where he has the nickname The Wolf. Jack is a freewheeling bachelor with commitment issues. It’s one of the main reasons why he’s been a flaky and frequently absentee father to his son Dylan (played by Wesley Kimmel), who’s about 13 or 14 years old.

Dylan lives with his mother Olivia (played by Mary Elizabeth Ellis), a medical doctor who is currently married to a husband who is not named or seen in the movie. It’s implied that Jack and Olivia were never married, never lived together, and never even had a committed relationship, but they decided to co-parent Dylan. So far, self-absorbed Jack has been failing miserably at being a responsible parent.

Meanwhile, Santa Claus (played by J.K. Simmons), also known as Nicholas or Nick, has been dutifully making an appearance at a shopping mall to meet children who tell him what they want for Christmas. This Santa Claus is not a traditional jolly and plump Santa. The Santa in “Red One” lifts weights for physical workouts and has an attitude of a cynically wise grandfather who knows what he has to say to make kids happy, even if he really doesn’t mean it.

Santa Claus’ security chief is Callum “Cal” Drift (played by Dwayne Johnson), a muscular and stern protector who has been working with Santa Claus for the last 542 years. (Johnson is also one of the producers of “Red One.”) Callum has recently given his resignation to Santa Claus because Callum believes that things have gotten worse in the world and there are more naughty people than nice people. Callum says he can also no longer see the inner children in adults. Christmas no longer makes him happy but has made him sad for this reason.

This is the type of abysmal dialogue that’s in “Red One.” In a scene where Callum and Santa discuss Callum’s impending exit from the job, Santa Claus says about the world’s people: “They need us now more than ever.” Callum responds: “You need someone younger.”

Santa comments, “We don’t need to change them. They need to change themselves. We work for the kids, Cal—even when they’re not kids anymore.” Santa adds, “Let’s have a cookie.” Callum replies, “The answer to everything.”

Santa is obviously disappointed that he is losing Callum, but Callum has made up his mind that he wants to retire from this line of work. Callum works for the Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority (MORA), a secretive security corporation where he reports to Zoe Harlow (played by Lucy Liu), a no-nonsense supervisor. MORA looks out for mythological beings and protects them at all costs. Santa Claus’ code name with MORA is Red One.

Jack was hired by an anonymous entity to hack into a computer system. Unbeknownst to Jack, this hacking exposed the secret location of Santa Claus on the North Pole to the entity that hired Jack. Santa Claus is then kidnapped from his home on the North Pole. MORA finds out that Jack was indirectly responsible for this kidnapping, so Callum is dispatched to force Jack to help Callum find Santa Claus.

If you’re already rolling your eyes at the description of this plot, “Red One” gets even worse as it goes along. Other characters who are part of the story are Krampus (played by Kristofer Hivju), the horned mythological creature who punishes naughty children; a Christmas witch named Gryla (played by Kiernan Shipka); and a sleazy business jerk named Ted (played by Nick Kroll), who is tracked down by Jack and Callum on a Hawaiian beach. It’s all just an excuse for “Red One” to be filmed partially in Hawaii, where the movie filmed on the island of Oahu.

In “Red One,” Krampus is supposed to be Santa’s brother, with no explanation for why human Santa and non-human Krampus could be related. Krampus is also an ex-lover of Gryla, who is described as a “900-year-old ogre with 13 sons who work at her command.” The scenes with Krampus are some of the worst in this already bad movie, which didn’t need the Krampus character at all.

The visual effects in “Red One” also include life-sized villain snowmen that are about as exciting as watching snow melt. There’s a North Pole security team called ELF (an acronym for enforcement, logistics and fortification) that includes a talking polar bear named Agent Garcia (voiced by Reinaldo Faberlle), another character that didn’t need to be in this movie. There are also humanoid robots that show up with no real explanation of their origin. And, of course, there are Santa’s reindeer, who have no names and no personalities.

Jack and Callum go through the usual formulaic motions of two characters with opposite personalities who must learn to work together for a common goal. The expected bickering and wisecracking banter ensue. And almost all of it in “Red One” fails to be funny or entertaining. Johnson and Evans have played these types of roles in many other movies. There’s nothing new to see here in their mediocre performances in “Red One.”

Except for Gryla, female characters in “Red One” are merely sidelined observers of most of the action. “Red One” mainly has Mrs. Claus (played by Bonnie Hunt) in a small role as the worried wife at home who bakes cookies. Hunt’s considerable comedic talent is wasted in this movie, which relegates her to a shallow and almost useless role. Zoe is Callum’s boss, but Callum gets to make the biggest and boldest moves. Shipka looks like she’s having fun playing a villain, but this villain’s personality is restricted to being one-dimensional stereotype.

“Red One” tries to juggle many different subplots like a juggler who ends up dropping too many things thrown in the air. There might be enough in “Red One” to satisfy viewers looking for some fantasy genre visual effects, but the movie’s main characters and story are extremely derivative and fail to be interesting. “Red One” is just an unimaginative mush of ideas using the same formula as comedic movies about buddy cops with clashing personalities. “Red One” is also a shameless showcase of what people dislike the most about the crass commercialism of Christmas.

Amazon MGM Studios will release “Red One” in U.S. cinemas on November 15, 2024. A sneak preview of the movie was shown in U.S. cinemas on November 10, 2024.

Review: ‘My Old Ass,’ starring Maisy Stella, Percy Hynes White, Maddie Ziegler, Kerrice Brooks and Aubrey Plaza

September 13, 2024

by Carla Hay

“My Old Ass”

Directed by Megan Park

Culture Representation: Taking place in the Muskoka Lakes area of Canada’s Ontario province, the comedy/drama film “My Old Ass” features a predominantly white group of people (with a few black people) representing the working-class and middle-class.

Culture Clash: In the summer before she goes away to college, a restless teen takes psychedelic mushrooms on her 18-year-old birthday and meets her 39-year-old self, who gives her some advice that the teen is reluctant to take.

Culture Audience: “My Old Ass” will appeal mainly to people who are fans of the movie’s headliners and well-acted stories about growing pains in young adulthood.

Kerrice Brooks, Maisy Stella, and Maddie Ziegler in “My Old Ass” (Photo courtesy of Amazon Content Services)

“My Old Ass” capably blends comedy, drama and fantasy in this sarcastically sweet coming-of-age story about an 18-year-old communicating with a manifestation of her 39-year-old self. Maisy Stella gives a standout performance as a teen on an identity quest. The movie isn’t for everyone but it will find appeal with open-minded people who aren’t offended by how obscene cursing, casual sex and illegal drug use are presented as part of a teenager’s life.

Written and directed by Megan Park, “My Old Ass” had its world premiere at the 2024 Sundance Film Festival. The tone of the movie is much lighter than 2022’s “The Fallout,” Park’s feature-film directorial debut about teenagers dealing with the aftermath of a mass-murder shooting at their school. Park has a knack for casting very talented people in the roles that are right for them because they inhabit their roles in authentic ways. “My Old Ass” is Stella’s impressive feature-film debut after having roles in television, such as the TV series “Nashville.”

“My Old Ass” takes place during a summer in an unnamed city in the Muskoka Lakes area of Ontario, Canada, where the movie was filmed on location. Main character Elliott (played by Stella) lives on a cranberry farm owned by her parents Tom (played by Al Goulem) and Kathy (played by Maria Dizzia), who are very loving and supportive of each other and their three children. Elliott is the middle child.

Elliott’s older brother Max (played by Seth Isaac Johnson) is about 19 or 20. He has chosen to be in the family business of cranberry farming. Max and Elliott have an emotionally distant relationship because they are almost polar opposites of each other. Max is introverted and straight-laced. At one point in the movie, Max says to Elliott: “I’m everything you hate. I like farming. I like sports. I hate [the TV series] ‘Euphoria.'”

The younger brother of Max and Elliott is Spencer (played by Carter Trozzolo), who is about 10 or 11 years old. Carter is nice but doesn’t have much of a personality. Elliott definitely likes Spencer more than she likes Max. Still, Elliott doesn’t really hang out with her brothers very much. Elliott also tells anyone who will listen that she can’t wait to move away from this cranberry farm and live her life in the big city of Toronto. In the meantime, Elliott spends a lot of time cruising on a motorboat in a lake.

In the beginning of the movie, Elliott will be leaving in 22 days for her freshman year at the University of Toronto. Also in the beginning of the movie, Elliott identifies as a lesbian, but that will change when she falls for a guy about a year or two older than she is. Elliott has a flirtation with a teenage woman named Chelsea (played by Alexandria Rivera), who’s about the same age, and the flirtation turns into a sexual fling.

Elliott’s two best friends are also free spirits: Ruthie (played by Maddie Ziegler) is tactful and a romantic at heart. Ro (played by Kerrice Brooks) is more outspoken and pragmatic. For Elliott’s 18th birthday, the three pals plan to go camping overnight in the woods and take psychedelic mushrooms that were purchased by Ro. Elliott doesn’t bother to tell her family about these camping plans, so there’s a scene of Elliott’s family waiting forlornly at their dining table with a birthday cake that Elliott never sees on her birthday.

While high on the mushrooms, Elliott is near a campfire when she suddenly sees a woman (played by Aubrey Plaza) sitting next to her. The woman says that she is Elliott at 39 years old. Elliott doesn’t believe her at first until the woman shows Elliott that she has the same torso scar that Elliott got from a childhood accident. Both of the Elliotts have some back-and-forth banter—younger Elliott thinks 39 is middle-aged, while older Elliott thinks 39 is still a young age—and trade some snide quips about what the future holds for Elliott.

The older Elliott will only reveal that she is a Ph. D. student in Toronto and is dating a woman. Younger Elliott asks older Elliott for life advice. Older Elliott tells younger Elliott to be nicer to her family and not take them for granted. Younger Elliott also asks older Elliott what her definition is of healthy love. Older Elliott says that healthy love is safety and freedom at the same time. After some of the jokes and semi-insults, older Elliott gets serious and gives younger Elliott a dire warning to not have sex with someone named Chad, but older Elliott won’t say why. It’s a warning that confuses and haunts younger Elliott for most of the movie.

Elliott goes home after the camping trip and thinks older Elliott was just a hallucination until she sees that older Elliott had put her phone number in younger Elliott’s phone. Not long after this psychedelic experience, Elliott is skinny dipping in a lake when has a “meet cute” experience with a guy named Chad (played by Percy Hynes White), who’s also in the lake for a swim. It turns out that Chad is an undergrad college student who is working at the farm for the summer. He has plans to eventually get a master’s degree in pharmacology.

“My Old Ass” then becomes mostly about Elliott trying to navigate and understand her growing feelings for Chad, who is intelligent, funny and kind. Elliott is confused not only because her older self told her to stay away from Chad but also because Elliott had always assumed that she would only be sexually attracted to women. Chad is clearly attracted to Elliott too, but she is very reluctant to get involved with Chad.

“My Old Ass” has a lot of familiar “will they or won’t they” scenes in movies about two people who are romantically attracted to each other, but one person is hesitant to act on these feelings. The movie has some quirky comedy, including another hallucinogenic experience involving Justin Bieber’s 2009 hit “One Less Lonely Girl.” All of the principal cast members are utterly believable in their roles and have great comedic timing in the performances.

What might surprise viewers and is perhaps somewhat disappointing is that the older Elliott isn’t in the movie as much as the trailer for “My Old Ass” would lead people to believe. In fact, there’s a great deal of the movie where younger Elliott is frantic and frustrated because older Elliott won’t return younger Elliott’s phone calls. There are also huge parts of the movie where Elliott’s best friends Ruthie and Ro aren’t seen at all.

“My Old Ass” has themes that are timeless, but a lot of the movie’s jargon and pop culture references are very mid-2020s and already kind of outdated. Some of the dialogue sounds forced, like an adult’s idea of what a progressive-minded, motormouthed teen (Elliott) would sound like when it just sounds like movie dialogue, not real-life dialogue. These are small flaws in a movie that is overall well-paced, fairly unique and elevated by a very talented cast.

Even though there could have been more scenes between younger Elliott and older Elliott, the movie makes a point of showing that this story doesn’t want to rely too heavily on a time-traveling gimmick. And although the movie’s title is “My Old Ass,” the story’s focus remains consistently from the perspective of younger Elliott. Viewers will be curious to know what older Elliott’s secret is about Chad, but the most interesting and best part of the movie is how Elliott reacts when she inevitably finds out this secret.

Amazon MGM Studios released “My Old Ass” in select U.S. cinemas on September 13, 2024, with an expansion to more U.S. cinemas on September 27, 2024.

Review: ‘Beetlejuice Beetlejuice,’ starring Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, Catherine O’Hara, Justin Theroux, Monica Bellucci, Jenna Ortega and Willem Dafoe

September 5, 2024

by Carla Hay

Winona Ryder and Michael Keaton in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” (Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures)

“Beetlejuce Beetlejuice”

Directed by Tim Burton

Culture Representation: Taking place in the fictional city of Winter River, Connecticut, the fantasy film “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” (a sequel to the 1988 movie “Beetlejuice”) features a predominantly white cast of characters (with a few Latinos and some African Americans) representing the working-class, middle-class and wealthy.

Culture Clash: Troublemaking and wisecracking demon Beetlejuice returns from captivity to stop the wedding of his would-be bride Lydia Deetz, a psychic who can see ghosts, while Lydia tries to repair her strained relationship with her daughter, and Beetlejuice is being hunted by his vengeful former bride.

Culture Audience: “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” will appeal primarily to people who are fans of the the first “Beetlejuice” movie, the movie’s headliners, director Tim Burton, and anyone who likes watching high-energy movies that are comedic supernatural stories.

Catherine O’Hara, Jenna Ortega, Winona Ryder and Justin Theroux in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” (Photo by Parisa Taghizadeh/Warner Bros. Pictures)

“Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” comes very close to being overstuffed with subplots, but they all tie together in the end. This flawed but energetic sequel to 1988’s “Beetlejuice” has enough supernatural fun to charm new fans and existing fans. Do viewers need to see the first “Beetlejuice” movie to understand “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice”? No, but it certainly helps, especially in noticing many of the references to the first “Beetlejuice” movie that are in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.” These references (also known as Easter eggs) can be considered shameless fan servicing, but most sequels of hit movies are guilty of pandering to die-hard fans.

Directed by Tim Burton, “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” was written by Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, who are both collaborators with Burton on Netflix’s “Addams Family” spinoff series “Wednesday.” Michael McDowell and Warren Skaaren wrote the first “Beetlejuice” movie, which was directed by Burton. Neither movie is perfect, but both movies have appeal to people who like movies that combine Gothic sensibilities with goofy comedy. “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” has many more characters (almost too many) compared to the first “Beetlejuice” movie, but the visual effects in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” are a vast improvement over the cringeworthy and tacky visual effects in “Beetlejuice.” The makeup in Beetlejuice” was superb though, which is why the movie won an Oscar for Best Makeup.

The original “Beetlejuice” movie has a simple plot: The ghosts of a married couple named Adam Maitland (played by Alec Baldwin) and Barbara Maitland (played by Geena Davis) try to get rid of the wealthy new family who have moved into and renovated the Maitlands’ former house in the fictional city of Winter River, Connecticut. The house’s new residents are former real estate developer Charles Deetz (played by Jeffrey Jones); his pretentious sculptor/conceptual artist wife Delia Deetz; and their Goth psychic teenage daughter Lydia Deetz (played by Winona Ryder), who is the only one in the family who can see ghosts.

The house is isolated and sits on a hilltop, which is why there are no neighbors who notice the strange activity taking place in the house. The Maitlands reluctantly enlist a troublemaking and wisecracking ghost demon named Betelgeuse (played by Michael Keaton) to try to get rid of the Deetz family. Betelgeuse becomes enamored with Lydia and wants to marry her. Betelgeuse (who lived and died as a human sometime in the 1300s) appears when his name is said three times in a row. There’s an entirely different discussion that could be had about how inappropriate it is for Betelgeuse to marry an underage teen, but it underscores how much of a creep Betelgeuse is and how he comes from an era when it was considered normal to marry someone who is 15 or 16 years old.

In “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice,” Lydia (also played by Ryder) is now a single mother who is the famous host of TV series called “Ghost House With Lydia Deetz,” where she helps people who say they have haunted houses. It’s mentioned that Lydia has been a professional psychic for the past 15 years. Lydia is a pill-popping neurotic who has been dating her manager Rory (played by Justin Theroux), who is an obviously slimy manipulator pretending to be sensitive and caring. Rory not only enables Lydia’s drug abuse, but he also encourages it.

Lydia uses pills to cope with her personal life being a mess. She barely speaks to her parents. Lydia also doesn’t have much of a relationship with her teenage daughter Astrid (played by Jenna Ortega, star of “Wednesday”), who is bitter because Astrid thinks Lydia cares more about her career than Lydia cares about Astrid. Lydia was separated from Astrid’s father Richard (played by Santiago Cabrera) when Richard died in a drowning accident.

Astrid, who is about 16 or 17, is a student at a boarding school, where Astrid is a loner who is treated like an outsider freak because of what Lydia does for a living. There’s a scene where some “mean girls” have vandalized Astrid’s room by putting up a paper ghost in the room that says “Boo.” Astrid is highly intellgent and well-read, but she has a lot of anger toward Lydia. Astrid thinks Lydia is a fraud because Lydia cannot see the ghost of Astrid’s father Richard.

One day, Lydia gets a frantic phone call from her mother Delia, who tells her to come to Winter River immediately. That’s how Lydia finds out that her father Charles died. His plane crashed over the South Pacific, and he was killed by a shark. In real life, “Beetlejuice” co-star Jones, who played Charles, got arrested in 2002 for child porn. Jones is now a registered sex offender, which is probably why he wasn’t asked to be in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice,” which uses animation, visual effects and archival footage of Jones to depict Charles in the movie.

Lydia feels uncomfortable with returning to Winter River, because it brings back bad memories of Betelgeuse, whose name is now spelled Beetlejuice in this sequel. (“Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” was actually filmed in the United Kingdom, Vermont and Massachusetts.) Astrid and Rory also go to Winter River to attend Charles’ funeral. Delia and Astrid don’t really know each other but they do have one thing in common: They both despise Rory.

To the horror of Delia and Astrid, Rory uses Charles’ memorial service to propose marriage to Lydia—and he wants to get married in Winter River on Halloween, which is two days after this marriage proposal. Father Damien (played by Burn Gorman), the priest to led the funeral service, has been enlisted to officiate at the wedding. Lydia wants more time to think about Rory’s marriage proposal. However, Rory makes her feel guilty, so she reluctantly agrees to this hasty wedding. Lydia is also seeing some indications that Beetlejuice might be coming back into her life.

Meanwhile, “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” explains from the beginning that Beetlejuice has been trapped in an afterlife purgatory. In his previous life (when he was alive), he was a grave robber who married a femme fatale named Delores (played by Monica Bellucci), the leader of a soul-sucking cult. Beetlejuice left Delores, but the ghost of Delores wants to get back together with Beetlejuice by any means necessary to marry him. An early scene in the movie shows Delores putting her sliced body back together, with her restored body in stitches.

Beetlejuice has several mute minions with shrunken heads who wear the same type of striped suit that he does. His most loyal and rusted minion is named Bob. “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” has a lot of scenes with these minions that might remind people of how the “Despicable Me” animated movies use their own minion characters for anti-hero/supervillain Gru.

One of the biggest comedic gags in the “Beetlejuice” movies is an afterlife waiting room, where recently deceased people wait to get checked in to travel to heaven, hell or somewhere in between. The ghosts appear exactly as how they looked when they died, which means many of these ghosts are mutilated or deformed if they died gruesome deaths. Near the beginning of “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice,” Danny DeVito has a quick cameo as an unnamed janitor in this afterlife waiting area.

It’s in this waiting area, there’s an Afterlife Crimes Unit led by a pompous ghost named Wolf Jackson (played by Willem Dafoe), who was an actor when he was alive. Wolf was an actor who was best known for playing a police detective named Frank Hardballed. As a ghost, Wolf still likes to pretend that he’s a real cop. He takes it upon himself to lead team that is looking for Delores, the chief suspect in a spree of murders where people’s souls have been sucked out of them.

And there’s even more going on in this plot: After Lydia accepts Rory’s marriage proposal, a disgusted Astrid storms off on her bicycle. Astrid accidentally crashes through a fence and tumbles into a backyard tree. The tree has a treehouse, where teenage Jeremy Frazier (played by Arthur Conti) happens to be when Astrid has her bike accident.

You know what happens next: Jeremy and Astrid, who are both about the same age and are intellectual loners, have an immediate attraction to each other. But what will happen to their relationship if Astrid is only going to be in Winter River for a few days? There are some twists and turns in “Beetlejuice” which have some surprises that are more unpredictable than others.

“Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” has some nostalgic references to the first “Beetlejuice” movie. The Handbook for the Recently Deceased is once again a pivotal part of the plot. Miss Shannon’s School for Girls, which was seen at the end of “Beetlejuice,” has a much more prominent role in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.” Little Jane Butterfield (played by Rachel Mittelman), the pre-teen daughter of nosy real-estate agent Jane Butterfield (played by Annie McEnroe) in “Beetlejuice,” is now all grown up in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.” The adult Jane Butterfield Jr. (played by Amy Nuttall) is also a real-estate agent.

Music also plays a big role in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice,” which has “Beetlejuice” composer Danny Elfman returning for the franchise’s jaunty score music. In “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice,” there’s a soul train where people in the waiting area dance like they’re in a “Soul Train” episode from the 1970s. There are mostly African American people (many with Afro hairstyles) in these soul train scenes, which might or might not be taken a certain way depending on how much viewers know about “Soul Train” in the 1970s.

Songs from Harry Belafonte’s 1956 “Calypso” album—most notably the hit tune “Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)”—are prominently featured in the original “Beetlejuice” and can be heard again in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.” But the song that gets its big moment in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice,” is “MacArthur Park,” which was a hit (separately) for Richard Harris in 1968 and Donna Summer in 1978. Also look for a comedic moment featuring Richard Marx’s 1989 hit “Right Here Waiting.”

Keaton, Ryder and O’Hara all give very good performances in reprising their “Beetlejuice” roles. In “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice,” Ryder has the most challenging task of the three original “Beetlejuice” stars because her Lydia character has changed the most from the original “Beetlejuice” movie. Lydia is now a complicated adult with more emotional baggage than what the teenage Lydia character had. Much of the movie relies on Lydia’s reactions to a lot of the mayhem that takes place. Ryder’s performance as Lydia (who gets the most screen time in the movie) could be annoying to some or entertaining to others, but she is always compelling to watch in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.” Keaton’s Beetlejuice is essentially the same, while O’Hara’s Delia is even more cartoonish than in the original “Beetlejuice” movie.

Ortega and Theroux are perfectly fine in their roles, but they’re both doing versions of other characters that they’ve already done on screen: the pouting teen character for Ortega, the two-faced liar character for Theroux. The “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” filmmakers made the right decision to have Delores say as little as possible because Bellucci has a limited acting range compared to other stars in the “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” cast, although she looks fabulous as Delores, who could pass for an evil cousin of Morticia Addams. Dafoe hams it up as the buffoonish Wolf, who is the most unnecessary new character in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.”

“Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” at times seems a little too self-satisfied with all of the different subplots that are sometimes left to dangle and are left hanging while another subplot comes along as a distraction. The mischievious rogue Beetlejuice is also not in the movie as much as some viewers might expect from a film named after this character. Overall, if viewers have any curiosity about “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice,” it’s best to see the original “Beetlejuice” movie first and then enjoy the somewhat wild and bumpy ride that is “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.”

Warner Bros. Pictures will release “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” in U.S. cinemas on September 6, 2024. The movie was released in several countries outside the U.S. and had sneak preview screenings in U.S. cinemas on September 4, 2024.

Review: ‘Harold and the Purple Crayon’ (2024), starring Zachary Levi, Lil Rel Howery, Benjamin Bottani, Jemaine Clement, Tanya Reynolds, Zooey Deschanel and the voice of Alfred Molina

July 31, 2024

by Carla Hay

“Harold and the Purple Crayon”

Directed by Carlos Saldanha

Culture Representation: Taking place in Providence, Rhode Island, the fantasy film “Harold and the Purple Crayon” (based on the book of the same name) features a predominantly white cast of characters (with a few African Americans) representing the working-class and middle-class.

Culture Clash: Children’s book characters Harold (who uses a magic purple crayon that can make illustration things become real things) and friends Moose and Porcupine go to the real world to find their book narrator and experience various misadventures.

Culture Audience: “Harold and the Purple Crayon” will appeal primarily to people who are fans of the movie’s headliners, the book on which the movie is based, and anyone who doesn’t mind watching substandard entertainment geared to families and underage children.

Pictured clockwise, from left: Benjamin Bottani, Zachary Levi, Lil Rel Howery and Zooey Deschanel in “Harold and the Purple Crayon” (Photo courtesy of Sony Pictures)

“Harold and the Purple Crayon” is as sloppy and muddled as someone doodling while drunk. This mishandled movie looks like a rejected TV show aimed at children, with most of the cast members looking embarrassed to be there. “Harold and the Purple Crayon” might be acceptable for viewers who want to have something to watch without any expectations of being fully engaged or entertained by what they’re seeing. But for people expecting imagination and charm in a movie about characters who can use a magic crayon to draw things that become reality, then “Harold and the Purple Crayon” is not the movie to watch.

Directed by Carlos Saldanha, “Harold and the Purple Crayon” is based on Crockett Johnson’s 1955 children’s fiction book of the same name. The “Harold and the Purple Crayon” book is the first in a series of Johnson’s books that have a 4-year-old boy named Harold as the main character. David Guion and Michael Handelman co-wrote the “Harold and the Purple Crayon” adapted screenplay, which is a dreadful concoction of stale jokes, hollow characters and boring scenarios. The movie (which takes place mostly in Providence, Rhode Island) updates the story to take place in the 2020s. Johnson’s “Harold” books were also adapted into a short-lived HBO animated series called “Harold and the Purple Crayon,” which lasted for one season from 2001-2002.

In the beginning of the movie “Harold and the Purple Crayon,” a voiceover narrator (voiced by Alfred Molina) explains that illustrated drawing characters Harold and his animal pals Moose and Porcupine are best friends. Harold, who is supposed to be a 4-year-old boy, has a magical purple crayon where anything he draws becomes a reality. The movie spends less than three minutes showing Harold, Moose and Porcupine in their illustrated book world before the movie abruptly shifts to making these illustrated characters come to life.

That’s because sheltered Harold, who is now physically grown up but still has the naïveté of a child, suddenly gets curious about who this narrator is and wants to meet him in person when the narrator goes silent. Harold assumes that this narrator is his elderly father, so Harold wants to go to the real world to find his “old man,” which are words that Harold repeatedly uses throughout the movie to describe the narrator. Moose and Porcupine are reluctant to go to the real world because they heard it can be a scary place where bad things can happen.

Harold is determined though, so he goes through a magical portal and ends up in the “real world,” which is Providence. Why is this story located in Providence? As the movie explains later, Providence is the location of the Crockett Johnson Museum. Harold doesn’t know anything about his “old man,” including the name of the “old man,” so part of the movie (which gets distracted by other things) is about Harold thinking any elderly man he sees is his “old man.”

When Harold enters the “real world,” he is a fully grown man (played by Zachary Levi) wearing the same thing that Harold the book character wears: a blue onesie. Harold might look like an adult, but he has the life experience and intelligence of a child. Sound familiar? In “Harold and the Purple Crayon,” Levi is doing another version of the “boy trapped in an adult body” superhero character that he played in the “Shazam!” movies, but “Harold and the Purple Crayon” is much worse than the “Shazam!” movies.

Eventually, Moose goes through the portal, but his transformation goes from looking like a moose to looking like a man (played by Lil Rel Howery), who wears clothing with moose illustrations on it. Moose can randomly turn back into a moose, apparently when he’s startled or scared. The movie does a horrible job of explaining how and why Moose can switch back and forth between looking like an animal and looking like a human.

Porcupine is the last person to go through the portal to the “real world.” She also appears in the real world as an adult human (played by Tanya Reynolds), but the only visual reference to her being a porcupine is that in human form, she has a purple-streaked Mohawk. Porcupine is the most annoying of the three pals. She’s so annoying, this movie has Porcupine separated from all the other characters for a great deal of the story because Porcupine is looking for Harold and Moose.

This movie’s costume design is a failure of imagination. Porcupine wears a black leather jacket and black trousers, but that outfit should’ve been accented with a lot of studs or spikes, to make it look like she’s a porcupine in human form. Later in the movie, Porcupine wears a motorcycle helmet with black Mohawk spikes, but it’s too little, too late. By then, the movie has gone completely off the rails, and no creative costume design can save it.

The portal to the real world leads to an unnamed park in Providence. Harold wants to hug every elderly man he thinks might be his “old man,” and gets the expected “get away from me” responses. When Harold starts running next to a jogger (played by TJ Jackson) in the park, he asks the jogger: “What are we running from?” The jogger replies, “Grown men in a onesie,” as he moves away from Harold. This is the type of cringeworthy “comedy” that’s in this misfire of a movie.

Harold and Moose soon find each other in the park. Moose and Harold accidentally get hit but not seriously injured by a car driven by a widow named Terry (played by Zooey Deschanel), who is in the car with her son Melvin, nicknamed Mel (played by Benjamin Bottani), who’s about 11 or 12 years old. Because of the accident, Terry’s car gets a flat tire. No problem. Harold takes out his purple crayon and draws a new tire, which becomes a purple tire that Terry can use for her car.

Terry feels guilty about this car accident, so when Harold and Moose tell Terry and Mel that they’re new to the area and need a temporary place to stay, Mel convinces Terry to let Harold and Moose stay at their house. Harold and Moose have to stay in the attic, but they are thrilled because the attic has things they’ve never seen before in their limited book-illustration world. And what a coincidence: Terry still has some of her deceased husband’s clothes, and he happened to be same size as Harold. Terry lets Harold borrow these clothes so he isn’t walking around looking like a Super Mario Bros. character.

Mel is a lonely kid who is bullied at his school. Mel has an imaginary friend named Carl, which he describes as a creature that’s a combination of an eagle, a lion and an alligator. Harold treats Mel with kindness and encourages Mel (who likes to draw) to use his imagination and indulge in fantasies. And you just know what’s going to happen when later in the movie, Harold breaks his magic purple crayon in half and gives this half of the crayon to Mel. When Carl does finally appear (which isn’t a secret because ths creature has already been revealed in official photos from the movie), it actually looks more like an oversized lizard with wings.

Harold and Moose find out that even though Terry is a very nice person, she hasn’t been happy ever since her husband died. (The husband’s cause of death is not mentioned in the film.) Terry also says she hates her job. She works as a shelf stocker for Ollie’s Bargain Outlet, a discount general store that’s similar to Walmart. Terry’s dream job is to be a concert pianist. Mel tells Harold that he wants his mother to be happy again. You know where all of this is going, of course.

“Harold and the Purple Crayon” plods along with lackluster scenarios, such as Terry waking up one day, after her new house guests have arrived, to find out that Harold and Moose have made several blueberry pies and are eating them for breakfast with Mel. Mel has drawn a flying tarantula-sized spider with fangs, which Harold brings to life by using his magic crayon. This creature flits around and scares some people on more than one occasion, and then just flies out of the scene. It’s all so pointless.

Harold, Moose and Mel go to the C.C. Barrister Library to try to get information on Harold’s “old man.” At the library, they meet chief librarian Gary Natwick (played by Jemaine Clement), a pompous creep who has written an unpublished fantasy novel where the novel’s “hero” (who dresses like a knight) is a version of Gary. Gary has an unrequited crush on Terry, so Gary becomes jealous and alarmed when Harold innocently tells Gary that he’s been seeing Terry and is spending nights at Terry’s home.

Harold, Moose and Mel become a tight-knit trio who get involved in various misadventures. And where is Porcupine during all of this male bonding? Getting herself into bungling trouble, such as when she goes to a house because she’s sure that’s where Harold and Moose are, but it’s someone else’s house, and the owners think she’s a burglar. With Porcupine being so separate from the main story, there’s a whiff of sexism in repetitive scenarios showing her as a “troublemaker” while the three guys (Harold, Moose and Mel) get to have almost all of the fun.

The acting performances in “Harold and the Purple Crayon” are mediocre to terrible. Levi looks like he’s trying the hardest to stay in character. But in reality, he’s woefully miscast as Harold. Very few middle-aged actors can be convincing as a character who’s supposed to have the mentality of a human child but in an adult’s body. And in this case, it actually looks creepy and weird in “Harold and the Purple Crayon.”

And it doesn’t help that “Harold and the Purple Crayon” has such an uninteresting villain. Clement’s hilarious comedic talent (which can be seen in other on-sceen entertainment) is completely squandered in this cinematic flop. The depiction of Gary looks like half-baked campiness, which doesn’t really fit the earnest tone that the rest of the movie has.

Deschanel, Howery and Bottani are servicable in their “Harold and the Purple Crayon” roles but don’t do anything that’s noteworthy. Reynolds stands out for the wrong reasons: Her acting is either too stiff or over-exaggerated. Most of the celebrity cast members in this movie do not look emotionally invested in their characters at all and look like they’re just there to collect a salary.

The movie’s visual effects are basic, while the movie’s pacing is often sluggish. The misguided filmmaking in “Harold and the Purple Crayon” could trigger a thousand pun jokes about needing to go back to the drawing board for fresh new ideas. And those jokes would be inifinitely better than the uninspired swill that this disappointing movie dud turned out to be.

Columbia Pictures will release “Harold and the Purple Crayon” in U.S. cinemas on August 2, 2024.

Review: “Deadpool & Wolverine,’ starring Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Emma Corrin and Matthew Macfadyen

July 23, 2024

by Carla Hay

“Deadpool & Wolverine”

Directed by Shawn Levy

Culture Representation: Taking place in various universes, the sci-fi/fantasy/action film “Deadpool & Wolverine” (based on Marvel Comics is the first “Deadpool” and “X-Men”-related movie that is part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe) features a predominantly white cast of characters (with some African Americans and Asians) portraying superheroes, supervillains, powers and regular human beings.

Culture Clash: Bickering superheroes Deadpool and Wolverine team up to stop certain villains who want to make Deadpool’s universe disappear.

Culture Audience: “Deadpool & Wolverine” will appeal primarily to people who are fans of the movie’s headliners, superhero movies and action films that have some bawdy comedy with self-referencing jokes.

Emma Corrin in “Deadpool & Wolverine” (Photo by Jay Maidment/20th Century Studios/Marvel Studios)

“Deadpool & Wolverine” takes a joke-filled grenade and throws it at previous perceptions of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This hyperactive superhero sequel goes all-in with meta references, surprise appearances, and male homoerotic flirting. There are so many references to previous MCU movies, Disney’s acquisition of 20th Century Fox, executive decisions for superhero movies, and some of the cast members’ personal lives in the real world, it would be easy for anyone not familiar with any of these references be confused or not understand at last half of the jokes in the movie. “Deadpool & Wolverine”(based on Marvel Comics characters) is still an adrenaline-packed, crowd-pleaser for anyone inclined to like superhero movies, even if the movie is overstuffed with “surprises” to bulk up what is essentially a very thin plot.

Directed by Shawn Levy, “Deadpool & Wolverine” is the first MCU movie starring Marvel Comics characters from 20th Century Fox Studios (now known as 20th Century Studios), which was acquired by Disney (also owner of Marvel Studios) in 2019, about two years before the acquisition was announced. As a result, Marvel characters that have had movies from 20th Century Fox, such as Deadpool, the X-Men (which includes Wolverine), the Fantastic Four, Blade, Daredevil and Elektra, are among the characters who can now be part of the MCU. “Deadpool & Wolverine” was written by Levy, Ryan Reynolds, Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick and Zeb Wells.

“Deadpool & Wolverine” is also the first MCU movie to have a movie rating that is recommended viewing for people at or close to adult ages. The movie gets this rating because of the bloody violence and cursing. “Deadpool & Wolverine” also has some sexual comments/innuendos that are intended for mature/adult audiences. Do people need to see any of 20th Century Fox’s previous superhero movies to better understand “Deadpool & Wolverine”? Yes. The best ones to see before “Deadpool & Wolverine” are 2016’s “Deadpool,” 2018’s “Deadpool 2” and 2017’s “Logan.”

In the very beginning of “Deadpool & Wolverine” wisecracking superhero Deadpool (played by Reynolds) is seen digging up a grave in a snowy wooded area. He’s trying to find and resurrect surly superhero Wolverine (played by Hugh Jackman), a human-wolf mutant also known as Logan, who died in the “Logan” movie. Wolverine is one of the main characters in the “X-Men” series of movies and comic books. Deadpool, whose real name is Wade Wilson, is a Canadian mercenary nicknamed Merc with a Mouth. Wade was disfigured by tumor-like scars that he received from being in a hypobaric chamber, and he has superhuman regenerative healing abilities. Wade’s main weapons are his guns and swords, while Wolverine’s main weapons his retractable hand claws that are very large blades.

The meta references in “Deadpool & Wolverine” start from the very first scene. Deadpool can be heard saying in a voiceover about resurrecting Wolverine/Logan: “Marvel is so stupid. How are we going to do this without dishonoring Logan’s memory? We’re not.” There’s an amusing fight scene that Deadpool has with some soldiers the wooded area, where Deadpool dances to *NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye.” And then, there’s a flashback to Deadpool’s life in 2018 and in 2024, before he ended up in this fight.

The flashbacks show that Wade has retired his Deadpool superhero persona and is working as a salesperson for a company called Drive Max, which is a lot like the real-life automobile sales company CarMax. Wade is close to a middle-aged co-worker named Peter (played by Rob Delaney), who is also a salesperson at Drive Max. A flashback to 2018 shows that Wade is unhappy in this dead-end job, so he interviews with Happy Hogan (played by Jon Favreau), Iron Man’s former chauffeur, to see if he can get back in the superhero business. Deadpool says he needs to join the Avengers (Marvel’s most famous group of superheroes), but Happy tells Wade that people aren’t Avengers because they need to be but because people need the Avengers.

In 2024, Wade is living with elderly roommate Blind Al (played by Leslie Uggams), who mentions several times that she’s a cocaine dealer. (The cocaine comments in the movie are played for laughs.) On his birthday, Wade goes home and gets a surprise birthday party, whose guests are Blind Al; Wade’s ex-girlfriend Vanessa Carlysle (played by Morena Baccarin); and various superhero friends who were introduced in 2018’s “Deadpool 2”: Dopinder (played by Karan Soni); Negasonic Teenage Warhead (played by Brianna Hildebrand); Yukio (played by Shioli Kutsuna); Colussus (played by Stefan Kapicic); and Buck (played by Randal Reeder). At this party, Vanessa tells Wade that she has a new boyfriend. Wade (who’s still in love with Vanessa) is visibly disappointed that she has moved on to someone else.

After this birthday party, Wade suddenly finds himself transported to the headquarters of the Time Variance Authority (TVA), which is responsible for various timelines in the multiverse. Wade meets a pompous TVA official named Mr. Paradox (played by Matthew Macfadyen), who informs Wade that when an anchor being dies in a universe, the universe and its timeline will eventually fade from existence. Mr. Paradox tells Wade/Deadpool that the universe of Wade/Deadpool and all of Wade’s loved ones will eventually cease to exist. Mr. Paradox has been tasked with overseeing this extinction.

Wade/Deadpool finds out that the “anchor being” for this universe is Wolverine/Logan. And so begins a race against time to find Wolverine/Logan (there are several in the multiverse) who is alive and team up with Wolverine to save Deadpool’s universe. “Deadpool & Wolverine” has a flurry of alternate Wolverines/Logans who make quick appearance in this search, including one played by an actor who is famous for starring as a DC Comics superhero.

The Wolverine/Logan who ends up teaming up with Deadpool/Wade is dealing with massve guilt over the death of millions of beings in his universe. The movie’s chief villain is Cassandra Nova (played by Emma Corrin), the twin sister of “X-Men” character Charles Xavier. She lives in a place called The Void, which “Deadpool & Wolverine” is quick to self-referentially point out is the movie’s ripoff version of what’s in the “Mad Max” movies. Cassandra has extremely powerful telekinesis abilities. She can also take her hands to go inside bodies and grab onto people’s organs. When she takes a hold of someone’s brain, she can read their mind and enter their thoughts.

The movie’s visual effects are above-average but they’re not groundbreaking. “Deadpool & Wolverine’s” soundtrack songs lean heavily into nostalgia. In addition to *NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye,” other songs featured prominently in the movie are Madonna’s “Like a Prayer”; John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John’s “Grease” duet “You’re the One that I Want”; and Huey Lewis & the News’ “The Power of Love” and “If This Is It.” This isn’t a soundtrack that will have an award-winning hit original song written for the soundtrack.

“Deadpool & Wolverine” also mines nostalgia in other ways, such as plenty of surprise superhero appearances—some that are more predictable than others. Some of these superhero appearances are played by the same cast members who were these superheroes in other movies, while other superhero appearances are from cast members playing these superheroes for the first time in a movie. Perhaps the biggest surprise is the appearance of someone who seems to be one superhero but then is revealed to be another superhero.

Reynolds and Jackman play up the “opposites attract and clash” personalities of Deadpool and Wolverine to the hilt. They get into some epic battles with villains and with each other. Reynolds has said in interviews that he thinks Deadpool is probably bisexual or sexually fluid, and so he portrays the character in this way. “Deadpool & Wolverine” doesn’t come right out and declare Deadpool’s sexuality, but the movie doesn’t really play coy about Deadpool’s sexuality either. There are numerous scenes that show Deadpool/Wade is still in love with Vanessa but he is sexually attracted to Wolverine/Logan.

Corrin is quite good in the role of ice-cold Cassandra, but this villain won’t go be remembered as the most fearsome or entertaining MCU villain. Macfadyen (the Emmy-winning former co-star of “Succession”) also has a role as an icy Brit villain, although prissy Mr. Paradox doesn’t have any superpowers and is a lot less menacing than Cassandra. There’s also a Deadpool dog named Dogpool who is in the movie for offbeat cuteness and comic relief. Cassandra’s minions are generic and forgettable, except for an underdeveloped character named Pyro (played by Aaron Stanford), who can make flames come out of his hands.

The movie has some snarky references to a few of the cast members’ personal lives. For example, Deadpool says that Wolverine has let his toned physique go flabby because of the divorce, which is in reference to Jackman’s own real-life divorce that Jackman going through while filming “Deadpool & Wolverine.” There’s also a joke about two real-life ex-spouses who co-starred as superheroes in a superhero movie that was released in the early 2000s, a few years before the now-divorced couple got married.

“Deadpool & Wolverine” has an overload of references to past superhero movies, pop culture and celebrity gossip. Viewers who are unfamiliar with any of the above will just feel lost but can still enjoy the action and the characters. The movie’s end-credit scene is not a preview for a sequel but is an amusing reference to a previous scene in “Deadpool & Wolverine.” As far as MCU movies go, “Deadpool & Wolverine” is a wacky and entertaining ride that doesn’t take itself too seriously. “Deadpool & Wolverine” revels in poking fun itself as much as it pokes fun at the movie industry.

Marvel Studios and 20th Century Studios will release “Deadpool & Wolverine” in U.S. cinemas on July 26, 2024.

Review: ‘Villains Inc.’ (2024), starring Mallory Everton, Colin Mochrie, Jason Gray and Billy Mann

April 20, 2024

by Carla Hay

Colin Mochrie, Mallory Everton and Jason Gray in “Villains Inc.” (Photo courtesy of Purdie Distribution)

“Villains Inc.” (2024)

Directed by Jeremy Warner

Culture Representation: Taking place in an unnamed U.S. city, the sci-fi/fantasy/comedy film “Villains Inc.” features a predominantly white cast of characters (with a few African Americans) representing the working-class, middle-class and wealthy.

Culture Clash: Three bumbling villains and an “intern” who’s under “techno hypnosis” try to take over the world with a convoluted plan.

Culture Audience: “Villains Inc.” will appeal primarily to people who are interested in watching silly, low-budget comedies that are easily forgotten.

Trey Warner in “Villains Inc.” (Photo courtesy of Purdie Distribution)

Incoherent and unappealing, “Villains Inc.” looks like an amateur sketch comedy idea stretched into a messy feature-length movie. It’s a witless story about irksome villains and a shallow superhero who are as incompetent as this film. Don’t try to make sense of what you’re watching in “Villains Inc.,” because even the characters in the movie don’t really know what they’re doing.

Directed by Jeremy Warner, “Villains Inc.” (formerly titled “Villains Incorporated”) was co-written by Warner, Jason Gray and Matt Moen, who all have small and inconsequential acting roles in the movie. The story in “Villains” is so convoluted yet empty, it’s like watching people getting lost in a maze that they made for themselves. What makes everything worse is that “Villains Inc.” has a very off-putting smug tone, as if the filmmakers think the movie is funnier than it really is.

“Villains Inc.” is about three villains who think they are underappreciated for being “lowly” assistant villains to their more powerful boss. They don’t want to be overshadowed and want the fame and power they think they deserve. And so, these three misfit villains decide to team up and take over the world. Along the way, they enlist the help of an “intern,” whose mind is controlled by “techno hypnotism.” It sounds like a potentially good idea for a madcap comedy, but the way the story is told in this movie, it just becomes time-wasting, frequently dull garbage.

“Villains Inc.” takes place in an unnamed U.S. state but was actually filmed in Utah. A scene early on in the movie shows that the U.S. Constitution in this story has added a 28th Amendment that makes superpowers a human right. There is nothing in “Villains Inc.” that comes close to being an entertaining story about people with superpowers.

The leader of this villainous trio is talkative and annoying Beatrix Bennington (played by Mallory Everton), who comes up with a nonsensical plan for world domination. Beatrix wants to open a chain of stores called Killer Petco, where pets will be sold to the world’s most powerful villains. The pets will be secretly trained to kill their villain owners. Through fine-print clauses on the Killer Petco sales contracts, the dead villains’ assets will be inherited by Beatrix and her cohorts.

Beatrix’s sidekicks are dimwitted Harold (played by Colin Mochrie) and pessimistic Cain (played by Jason Gray), who is the one most likely to doubt that Beatrix’s plans will succeed. The movie’s opening scenes shows that Beatrix, Harold and Cain feel liberated after they watch their boss Winter General (played by Gabe Casdorph) die in a fight with a lunkhead Superman-like character named Captain Justice (played by Trey Warner), who pops in and out of the story at inexplicable moments.

Beatrix, Harold and Cain try unsuccessfully to profit from their boss’ death by attempting to gain access to his power and wealth. Instead, this bungling trio is forced to do tasks assigned to them by a villain employment agency, where they interact with a sassy unnamed agent (played by GloZell Green), who thinks Beatrix, Harold and Cain are idiots. Some of the tasks the trio is forced to do include poison testing, holding up target practice signs, and being night security guards, electricians and lab technicians.

There are moronic scenes where Beatrix goes through a villain “tryout” course and lies about having superpowers. Whether or not her lie gets exposed is supposed to be a big part of the story. Beatrix, Harold and Cain eventually cross paths with the aforementioned intern: a naïve flunky named Alex (played by Billy Mann), who becomes available after his previous villain boss Megadeath (played by Matthew Meese) is killed.

There are almost no laugh-out-loud moments in “Villains Inc.,” which careens from scene to scene with not much interesting happening. Everton gives a committed performance where she tries to be funny in every scene that she’s in, but the other cast members just go through the motions with unimpressive performances. The people who might enjoy this dreadful film the most are people who are too intoxicated to care what they’re watching.

Purdie Distribution released “Villains Inc.” in select U.S. cinemas on April 19, 2024.

Review: ‘Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire,’ starring Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry, Dan Stevens, Kaylee Hottle, Alex Ferns and Fala Chen

March 28, 2024

by Carla Hay

“Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire”

Directed by Adam Wingard

Culture Representation: Taking place in various places on Earth, the sci-fi/fantasy/action film “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” features a racially diverse cast of human characters (white, African American and Asian) representing the working-class, middle-class and wealthy, in addition to the movie having fictional animal characters.

Culture Clash: Giant monsters Godzilla and Kong team up to fight a common enemy: a giant ape called Skar King, a brutal ruler of an oppressive society in Hollow Earth.

Culture Audience: “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” will appeal primarily to people who are fans of the Godzilla and King Kong franchise and adrenaline-packed and entertaining action movies about giant monsters.

Dan Stevens, Rebecca Hall and Kaylee Hottle in “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” (Photo by Daniel McFadden/Warner Bros. Pictures)

Better and bolder than its predecessor, “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” delivers what viewers can expect to see when two titan monsters team up against a common enemy. There are less human characters who are irritating and more spectacular action. Be prepared to wait for the epic showdown scene when Godzilla and Kong finally join forces. The movie builds up to this moment with the right amount of anticipation and suspense. It’s worth the wait.

Directed by Adam Wingard, “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” is a direct sequel to 2021’s “Godzilla vs. Kong,” a bombastic action flick that had too many annoying humans and a lot of bad dialogue than significantly lowered the quality of the movie. “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” has a new screenwriting team (Terry Rossio, Simon Barrett and Jeremy Slater) that made a huge improvement in the story’s narrative, structure and character development, compared to “Godzilla vs. Kong,” which was directed by Wingard and written by Eric Pearson and Max Borenstein.

In “Godzilla x Kong,” mutant dinosaur Godzilla is living above ground and still causing destruction. One of the intentionally amusing things in the movie is that when Godzilla is in Rome, he sleeps in the Colosseum. There are other world-famous landmarks in the movie that are the settings of some of the movie’s intense action scenes, such as the pyramids in Egypt. The scientists observing Godzilla notice that he has gone to a nuclear power plant to inhale the fumes, as if he’s gearing up for battle.

Meanwhile, giant ape Kong is living in his domain in an area in the middle of the Earth called Hollow Earth. Something seems to be disturbing him too. A signal seems to be interfering with Hollow Earth, which is under the scientific observation of the Monarch Hollow Earth Station in Barbados, as first seen in “Godzilla vs. Kong.” Dr. Ilene Andrews (played by Rebecca Hall) is the lead scientist.

Ilene’s adopted daughter Jia (played by Kaylee Hottle), who happens to be deaf, is mourning the genocide of her indigenous Iwi tribe of people, who worship and are protectors of Kong and others in his species. Later in the movie, an Iwi queen (played by Fala Chen) has some answers to questions about Jia’s heritage and Iwi legacy. Jia is causing concern at her school because she’s been making disturbing drawings in class on pieces of paper and on her desk. Jia tells Ilene, “I think I’m going crazy.” It turns out that Jia has been sensing certain signals that are interfering with Hollow Earth.

Ilene and Jia then go on an expedition to Hollow Earth with wisecracking Monarch veterinarian Trapper (played by Dan Stevens), hot-tempered pilot Mikael (played by Alex Ferns) and talkative podcaster Bernie (played by Brian Tyree Henry), who begs to be taken along for the ride. Ilene and Jia are the most level-headed people in this motley crew. What these expeditioners find in Hollow Earth changes the entire trajectory of the story.

Kong also has a new companion in Hollow Earth: a young monster ape named Suko, who has a child-like personality. Although they both get off to a rough start by clashing with each other, Kong develops a paternal relationship to Suko as they spend more time together, and they protect each other. This movie shows more of Kong’s vulnerable emotions than in “Godzilla vs. Kong.” The performances by the cast members are serviceable. Let’s face it: People see these Godzilla and Kong movies for the monsters more than the humans.

Kong and Suko both come across a formidable enemy: Skar King, an evil giant ape who has enslaved hundreds of other giant apes. Skar King has control of a mutant dinosaur named Shimo with freezing powers. Skar King uses Shimo in battles and to keep the enslaved apes in fear. There’s also a legendary creature from Godzilla lore (hint: the creature is female and has wings) that is also an important part of the story.

“Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” also has a lot to say about family—whether the family is biological or found—and how being part of a family has a profound effect on the characters in the movie. (There are no mid-credits or end-credits scenes in the film.) The only main drawback to “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” is that the visual effects for Suko look too fake. However, the rest of the film is an entertaining ride that has the right blend of relatable emotions and thrilling action for the human and non-human characters.

Warner Bros. Pictures will release “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” in U.S. cinemas on March 29, 2024.

Review: ‘Madame Web,’ starring Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O’Connor, Tahar Rahim, Emma Roberts and Adam Scott

February 13, 2024

by Carla Hay

“Madame Web”

Directed by SJ Clarkson

Culture Representation: Taking place in 2003 (with brief flashbacks to 1973), in New York City and in the Amazon jungle of Peru, the superhero action film “Madame Web” (based on Marvel Comics characters) features a predominantly white cast of characters (with some African Americans, Latinos and Asians) portraying superheroes and regular human beings.

Culture Clash: A fire-department paramedic, who grew up as an orphan, finds out that she has spider-related psychic abilities that came from her mother’s mysterious death, and she helps protect three teenage girls who are being hunted by the man who killed her mother.

Culture Audience: “Madame Web” will appeal primarily to people who are fans of star Dakota Johnson and movies based on Marvel Comics, but the movie is an idiotic mess, by any standard of bad superhero movies.

Tahar Rahim (center) in “Madame Web” (Photo courtesy of Columbia Pictures)

“Madame Web” and “The Marvels” are the “Dumb and Dumber” of female-led Marvel Comics superhero movies. After the triumphs of “Black Widow” and “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever,” it’s a travesty that “Madame Web” is a low point in wannabe feminist superhero films. Perhaps the only good thing to come out of “Madame Web” is that it is an unintentional comedy, because there is so much idiotic filmmaking on display, it’s laughable. Other people who won’t find it so funny will be cringing at “Madame Web,” which is an embarrassment for everyone involved in making this brain-dead film.

Directed by SJ Clarkson, “Madame Web” was co-written by Clarkson, Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless and Claire Parker. “Madame Web” will get inevitable comparisons to 2023’s “The Marvels” because these two flops are obvious attempts to build a franchise around two separate groups of female superheroes. (See 2021’s “Black Widow” and 2022’s “Black Panther Wakanda Forever” for Marvel Comics-based, female-led superhero movies that are done right.) Whereas the story in “The Marvels” was overly ambitious and got tangled up in doing too many things in too many places, “Madame Web” tries to keep the story simple, but in doing so just exposes even more rapidly that it’s a mind-numbing, stupid mess.

“Madame Web” begins in 1973, in the Amazon jungles of Peru. An American scientist named Constance Webb (played by Kerry Bishé) is looking for a rare spider that has the potential to cure hundreds of diseases. Accompanying her on this expedition is an American named Ezekiel Sims (played by Tahar Rahim), whom Constance has hired to be her guide. Constance also happens to be about eight or nine months pregnant.

Ezekiel is over-eager for Constance to find this spider. His impatience should’ve been a big red flag to Constance that Ezekiel has ulterior motives. However, Constance is too preoccupied with finding this spider to notice. When she does find the spider, Ezekiel shoots her, steals the spider, and runs away.

Constance doesn’t die immedately. She is unconscious when she is saved by two tree-crawling and tree-hopping “spider men” of Peru (who basically look like acrobats with painted red skin), who bring her to a swampy area, put a spider on her chest, and deliver Constance’s baby, which is a girl. The spider on Constance’s chest was no ordinary spider. It bit Constance before the baby was delivered, so whatever type of venom the spider had has now been transferred into the blood of the baby.

Constance doesn’t survive, but her baby does, and the baby does not cry at all after being born. One of the Peruvian jungle dwellers who delivered the baby is named Santiago (played by José María Yazpik), who states solemnly to this newborn that she will eventually come back to this jungle to find him for answers to her questions. And when she does, Santiago adds, “I will be here for her.”

The movie then fast-forwards to 2003 in New York City. Constance’s baby is now a jaded 30-year-old bachelorette named Cassandra “Cassie” Webb (played by Dakota Johnson), who works as a paramedic for the Fire Department of New York. It’s mentioned in the movie that Cassie grew up as an orphan in the foster care system. Her biological father is never mentioned in the movie.

Cassie’s best friend is her paramedic co-worker Ben Parker (played by Adam Scott), who is also never-married with no children. Cassie and Ben, as they announce during their dull dialogue, don’t like the idea of “the family thing,” although Ben has been recently dating a special woman, and the relationship is getting serious. Ben won’t share any details about this relationship with Cassie, probably because he knows that bitter spinster Cassie will be jealous.

How do we know that Cassie is bitter about family love? When she saves a woman from a car accident and is at the hospital, the woman’s son (who’s about 8 or 9 years old) gives her a drawing that he made as a gift for saving his mother’s life. Cassie coldly asks Ben what she’s supposed to do with this gift since she doesn’t want it. Ben tells her she should just throw it in the garbage when the kid isn’t there.

It isn’t long before Cassie finds out that she has psychic abilities where she can see events that happen in the future. She discovers this clairvoyance after falling into the Atlantic Ocean while rescuing a man trapped in a car near a bridge. Ben rescues Cassie in a very sloppily staged scene, which is when she first finds out that she can see into the future.

Mike Epps has a very small and brief role as a paramedic supervisor named O’Neil, whose fate does not come as a surprise, since his character wasn’t useful to the overall story. Emma Roberts has a supporting role as Mary Parker, the pregnant wife of Ben’s brother Richard, who is never seen in the movie because he’s away working in Mumbai. Mary is eight months pregnant, and her pregnancy is used for exactly what you think it will be used for in a “race against” time scene later in the movie.

Meanwhile, Ezekiel (who is some type of scientist) was bitten by the spider that he stole, so now he has the ability to poison people just by touching them and holding them long enough. (Don’t ask.) After meeting an opera concertgoer whom he took home for a one-night stand, Ezekiel wakes up from a cold-sweat nightmare and tells her that he keeps dreaming of three teenage girls who want to kill him. His nightmarish visions show that all three girls are dressed as spider superheroes.

Ezekiel enlists the help of a technology expert named Amaria (played by Zosia Mamet) to find these three teenagers, because (as Ezekiel hilariously announces repeatedly in the movie), he wants to kill them before they can kill him. Amaria is only seen working for Ezekiel in a room with hi-tech equipment, such as surveillance cameras that are apparently everywhere in the New York City area.

“Their faces have been taunting me for years,” Ezekiel comments to Amaria about these teen tormenters. “Find them, and I’ll pay you a fortune.” Ezekiel tells Amaria several times that he will kill her if she doesn’t do what he wants. It’s later mentioned in the movie that Ezekiel thinks he’s going to be killed because he was cursed for stealing the spider.

The identities of the three teenagers are Julia Cornwall (played by Sydney Sweeney), a nervous people-pleaser; Mattie Franklin (played by Celeste O’Connor), a rebellious rich kid; and Anya Corazon (played by Isabela Merced), a level-headed undocumented immigrant. All three have encountered Cassie before they formally meet. Julia’s stepmother was a patient rescued earlier in the movie by Cassie, and Julia saw Cassie at the hospital. While skateboarding on a busy street, Mattie was nearly hit by a paramedic ambulance that Cassie had been driving on the way to the accident. Anya lives in the same apartment building as Cassie.

The rest of “Madame Web” is one ridiculous scenario after another where Casse tries to save Julia, Mattie and Anya from being murdered by Ezekiel, because Cassie had a psychic vision that it would happen when all them are on the same train. By rescuing these three teens and putting them in the woods to hide them, Cassie becomes a kidnapping suspect. Cassie spends much of the movie acting like a stern boarding school headmistress to these confused and bickering teenagers.

The acting in “Madame Webb” ranges from mediocre to bad, with Rahim’s stiff performance being the worst. Rahim’s wooden acting and questionable American accent (he’s French in real life) further sink the quality of this already low-quality superhero movie. The action sequences are flashy but empty. And don’t bother sticking around for a mid-credits or end-credits scene, because there is none.

The movie’s soundtrack choices sound like the filmmakers were thinking, “What songs would feminists and teenage girls be listening to in 2003?” The answer, according to “Madame Web”: Meredith Brooks’ “Bitch” and Britney Spears’ “Toxic.” The movie’s very “on the nose” soundtrack is in stark contrast to the rest of “Madame Webb,” which misses the mark in almost every single way.

Columbia Pictures will release “Madame Web” in U.S. cinemas on February14, 2024.

Review: ‘Hanu-Man,’ starring Teja Sajja, Amritha Aiyer, Varalaxmi Sarathkumar, Samuthirakani, Vinay Rai and Vennela Kishore

February 4, 2024

by Carla Hay

“Hanu-Man”

Directed by Prasanth Varma

Telugu with subtitles

Culture Representation: Taking place in India, the sci-fi/fantasy/action film “Hanu-Man” features an all-Indian cast of characters representing the working-class, middle-class and wealthy.

Culture Clash: A petty thief becomes an unlikely superhero who battles with a supervillain over a gem that give the hero his superpowers.

Culture Audience: “Hanu-Man” will appeal primarily to people who are fans of superhero movies and don’t mind watching a movie that’s more than two-and-a-half hours long.

Vinay Rai in “Hanu-Man” (Photo courtesy of PrimeShow Entertainment)

“Hanu-Man” is an epic superhero film whose minor flaws are outshone by an engaging story and some stunning visuals. The movie has plot developments that are more unexpected than others. It’s a crowd-pleasing movie that’s obviously conceived as a franchise.

Written and directed by Prasanth Varma, “Hanu-Man” (which takes place in India) begins where most superhero movies usually don’t begin: by showing the origin story of the movie’s chief villain. The opening scene takes place in the Saurashtra region in 1998. A boy named Michael and his best fried Siri, who are both about 11 or 12 years old, are role-playing as a superhero on the roof of a building.

Michael, who is wearing a cape, jumps off of the building and injures himself. Later, when Michael is recovering from his injuries at home, his father yells at Michael for being reckless and for having an obsession with superheroes and comic books. (Michael’s bedroom wall is plastered with superhero artwork and posters.) Michael’s father punishes him with some physical abuse and forbids Michael from reading any more comic books.

Later, Michael and Siri have a private conversation where Michael mentions that all of the most famous superheroes—such as Superman, Batman and Spider-Man—have parents who died when the superheroes were children. The next scene shows Michael secretly killing his parents by setting their house on fire while the parents are trapped inside.

The movie then fast-forwards to Michael (played by Vinay Rai) in his 30s. He has become a superhero vigilante called Mega Man. Michael and Siri (who is now an accomplished scientist) are still best friends. Siri is Michael’s sidekick and does whatever Michael tells him to do. Siri knows about Michael’s secret superhero alter ego because Siri is the one who came up with the inventions that helped Michael become a superhero. Just like Batman, Michael is a human being who doesn’t have superpowers but he has a powerful superhero suit and an arsenal of high-tech gadgets and weapons that he uses for his vigilante activities.

Meanwhile, in the fictional hamlet of Anjanadri, a petty thief named Hanumanthu (played by Teja Sajja) has a best friend named Kasi (played by Getup Srinu), who is sometimes his partner in crime. Hanumanthu’s older sister Anjamma (played by Varalaxmi Sarathkumar) worries about Hanumanthu and wishes that he would turn his life around and become a respectable citizen. Anjamma is engaged to be married. Ner wedding becomes a pivotal point in the story.

Hanumanthu has a crush on an attractive and outspoken doctor named Meenakshi (played by Amritha Aiyer), who has vivid memories of a superhero being her rescuer/protector when she was a child. Meeakshi frequently clashes with Anjanadri’s leader Gajapathi (played by Raj Deepak Shetty), who rules Anjanadri like a dictator. Meeakshi wants the village to be more of a democracy.

The feud between Meeakshi and Gajapathi escalates to a point where Gajapathi sends a gang of masked thieves to rob and attack Meeakshi. Hanumanthu comes to Meeakshi’s rescue during the attack but he’s seriously wounded and falls into a sea nearby. He finds a glowing gem in the sea and is able to go back home.

During his recovery, Hanumanthu finds out that the gem has given him superpowers (such as extraordinary strength and agility), but only when he is in possession of the gem and when the gem is exposed to sunlight. It isn’t long before Hanumanthu and Gajapathi face off in a fight, where Hanumanthu’s new superpowers come in handy. Because Hanumanthu doesn’t want people to know that his superpowers come from this gem, he hides the gem in a mask that he wears in public when he’s using the superpowers.

And what about Michael? He’s been injured in a fight, so his Mega Man activities have been halted until he can fully recover. However, through a viral video that he sees on social media, Michael finds out about Hanumanthu’s exceptional strength and decides he has to find out what is the source of Hanumanthu’s strength. It doesn’t take long for Michael and Siri to arrive in Anjanadri.

“Hanu-Man” has a lot of thrilling acting scenes with mostly convincing visuals. When the visuals don’t look believable, it’s only a temporary distraction. Overall, the cinematography is very effective at immersing viewers into this world. The acting performances are adequate and not as good as the actual story.

Even though Michael is the movie’s chief villain, “Hanu-Man” has a lot to say about resisting political oppression in the conflicts with Gajapathi. Can this power-hungry tyrant be reedeemed? Michael also represents the corruption that can happen when people pursue power at any cost. It’s a tried-and-true theme for superhero stories, but “Hanu-Man” handles it with style and crowd-pleasing entertainment.

PrimeShow Entertainment released “Hanu-Man” in select U.S. cinemas on January 12, 2024, the same day the movie was released in India.

Review: ‘Candy Cane Lane’ (2023), starring Eddie Murphy

November 25, 2023

by Carla Hay

Thaddeus J. Mixson, Genneya Walton, Madison Thomas, Tracee Ellis Ross and Eddie Murphy in “Candy Cane Lane” (Photo by Claudette Barius/Amazon Content Services)

“Candy Cane Lane” (2023)

Directed by Reginald Hudlin

Culture Representation: Taking place in El Segundo, California, the fantasy/comedy film “Candy Cane Lane” features a racially diverse (African American and white) cast of characters representing the working-class and middle-class.

Culture Clash: A married father, who’s desperate to win a local Christmas decorating contest, makes a misguided deal with a corrupt elf, who forces him to gather items that are mentioned in the carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

Culture Audience: “Candy Cane Lane” will appeal primarily to fans of star Eddie Murphy and anyone who will tolerate badly made Christmas movies.

Eddie Murphy, Jillian Bell and Madison Thomas in “Candy Cane Lane” (Photo by Claudette Barius/Amazon Content Services)

“Candy Cane Lane” is a rotten, weird, and unfunny mess. Add this junk to the list of Eddie Murphy misfires meant to be crowd pleasers but just turn off many people. There’s also a semi-accidental animal cruelty scene that’s played for laughs. Horrendous.

Directed by Reginald Hudlin and terribly written by Kelly Younger, “Candy Cane Lane” is the type of outdated and tacky movie that could’ve been released direct-to-video in the 1990s. But the fact that some big names were involved in making this movie (Murphy and Oscar-winning “A Beautiful Mind” producer Brian Grazer are two of the “Candy Cane Lane” producers), and because there was a large-enough budget for the movie’s over-reliance on visual effects, “Candy Cane Lane” looks misleadingly like a cute and glossy comedy.

About 15 minutes into the movie, viewers will find out there’s nothing cute about the onslaught of bad jokes, dull scenarios, annoying characters, and a tangled story that just seems to be making up things as it goes along. “Candy Cane Lane” goes off on so many different tangents, it’s like a bunch of half-baked ideas thrown into a trash heap that’s left to fester and then gets covered up with some shiny Christmas embellishments to attract viewers. There are some very talented comedic actors in “Candy Cane Lane,” but they often look somewhat embarrassed by the utter garbage that they have to say as their lines of dialogue.

“Candy Cane Lane” is the first feature film for screenwriter Younger, whose two previous screenwriting credits are for Disney+ shows: the 2021 TV special “Muppets Haunted Mansion” and the 2020 limited series “Muppets Now.” It just goes to show that hack screenwriters can get awful screenplays made into a movie if they know the right people who are willing to waste their money in making this type of humiliating dreck. “Candy Cane Lane” star Murphy is considered to be a great stand-up comedian, and he can excel in sketch comedy, but he has very questionable taste in choosing his family-oriented projects, which are usually low-quality (even with large budgets) and way beneath his talent.

“Candy Cane Lane” (which takes place in El Segundo, California, and was filmed in nearby Los Angeles) begins by telling audiences about a big annual Candy Cane Lane contest that takes place in El Segundo. It’s a Christmas decorating contest for the exteriors of people’s homes. The household that’s chosen as the one with the best decorations is the winner of the contest. A local cable TV station called Prism Cable gives coverage to the contest, which also has a Candy Cane Lane parade. Expect to see a lot of garish and ugly Christmas decorations in this movie that is supposedly “award-worthy” by Candy Cane Lane contest standards.

Chris Carver (played by Murphy) and his neighbor Bruce (played by Ken Marino) have been extremely competitive with each other because of this contest, which Bruce has won for the past four years. Bruce and Chris put up a front of being friendly with each other in public, but in reality, they see each other as fierce and bitter rivals. Winning this contest becomes an obsession for Chris, but then other things happen in the movie where the contest becomes almost like an afterthought, and “Candy Cane Lane” really goes off the rails into irredeemable stupidity. The character of Bruce is barely in the movie; his screen time is less than 10 minutes.

Chris and his wife Carol Carver (played by Tracee Ellis Ross) have three children. Their eldest child Joy Carver (played by Genneya Walton), who’s about 17 or 18 years old, is a star on her high school’s track team and is in the process of applying to universities. Middle child Nick (played by Thaddeus J. Mixson), who’s about 16 or 17 years old, is an aspiring musician who is in the school’s marching band. Youngest child Holly (played by Madison Thomas), who’s about 9 or 10 years old, doesn’t seem to have any interests. Holly is written as a walking cliché of what bad comedies do when the youngest kid in the family is a girl: She is only there to look cute, make some wisecracks, and help the adults when they need help.

Observant viewers will notice even before it’s pointed out later in the movie that all of the Carver kids have Christmas-themed names. Nick is obviously named after St. Nicholas. Even the name Carol has a Christmas association to it. These names are supposed to be an example of how Chris has a fixation on Christmas. Chris Carver’s name is somewhat similar to Kris Kringle (also known as Santa Claus), but the frequently whiny and petulant “Candy Cane Lane” protagonist Chris Carver has none of the appeal and charm of Kris Kringle.

Christmas isn’t the only thing that’s a fixation for Chris, who is somewhat fanatical about his loyalty to his college alma mater: the University of Southern California (USC). Chris (who is a sales executive) and Carol (who’s a manager at a peanut factory) met when they were students at USC. Chris expects all of his children to also go to USC.

However, Joy announces to her parents near the beginning of the movie that she doesn’t want to go to USC and would rather go to the University of Notre Dame, which is more than 2,100 miles away in South Bend, Indiana. Chris does not take this announcement very well and thinks that Joy will change her mind about going to USC. This conflict over Joy’s choice of universities is awkwardly brought up later in one of the movie’s many poorly written and sloppily staged scenes that fall flat with unamusing jokes.

Chris will soon have more to worry about than which university Joy chooses to attend. He’s laid off from his job at a company called Sydel Twain Industrial Plastics, where he was a longtime employee, but the company’s new owner is making staff cuts. Trevante Rhodes has a useless cameo as an executive named Tre, who coldly tells Chris in a conference room that Chris is no longer working at the company.

Chris gets a wrapped bathrobe package as a parting gift from the company. “I don’t want your fleece!” Chris says angrily. He quickly changes his mind and says maybe he does want the fleece after all. If you think this is hilarious, then feel free to waste time watching “Candy Cane Lane,” because this is what the movie is trying to pass off as “comedy.”

Chris eventually tells Carol that he lost his job, but he asks her not to tell their children because he doesn’t want the kids to worry, especially during the Christmas holiday season. Carol has her own job concerns: She really wants a promotion, which could happen soon if she impresses the right people.

It just so happens that the Candy Cane Lane contest has announced that this year’s grand prize is $100,000, which makes Chris even more determined to win, considering he doesn’t know when he will find his next job. With the contest approaching, Chris forces his kids to help him get new Christmas decorations. Chris and Holly find a “pop-up store,” which sells elaborate Christmas decorations. Chris and Holly go to this store multiple times in the movie and don’t seem to think it’s strange that they are always the only customers in the store and there’s only one person working there.

The first time they visit the store, Chris and Holly are in awe of all the unique decorations. They are greeted by a seemingly helpful employee named Pepper Mint (played by Jillian Bell), who convinces Chris to buy a massive artificial Christmas tree that is packaged in a container shaped like a giant sardine can. While ringing up the sale at the cash register, Pepper tells Chris that he doesn’t have to read the fine print on the long receipt before he signs the receipt. “Honestly, it’s like signing your life away,” she says with obvious sarcasm.

It turns out that Pepper is really a corrupt elf, who tricked Chris into signing his life away. Chris gets the spectacular tree that he wants: It magically unfolds into a giant 12-tier tree that can best be described as looking like stacks of Christmas cookie circular tin containers that are glued together. The tree is such a sensation, it makes the news on Prism Cable.

Prism Cable has two irritating news anchors: perpetually perky Kit (played by Danielle Pinnock) and constantly jaded Emerson (played Timothy Simons), who are an excruciatingly ridiculous on-air duo providing commentary throughout the story. Kit has decided that her irksome nephew Josh (played by D.C. Young Fly), who has an alter ego as a social media influencer named Sunny Roberts, deserves to be on TV, so she lets this dolt become an “on the scene” correspondent.

The Carver family tree’s lights are so far-reaching, the lights can be seen by an airplane in the sky. The problem is that by opening up this tree, Chris has triggered the unwitting “bargain” that he made with Pepper. Suddenly, things mentioned in the Christmas carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas” start appearing randomly in the Carver family’s lives. “The Twelve Days of Christmas” famously mentions a partridge in a pear tree, two turtle doves, three French hens, four calling birds, five golden rings, six geese that lay eggs, seven swimming swans, eight milk maids, nine dancing ladies, 10 leaping lords, 11 pipers and 12 drummers.

They don’t appear in the order that they are mentioned in the song. Everything is haphazard, just like this entire movie. The seven swans are the first to appear, as they end up in the Carver family’s backyard swimming pool. Somehow in this very disjointed story, Chris finds out that in order to get out of this deal with Pepper, he must give her the golden rings. And so, there’s a “hunt” to track down these rings.

But that’s not where “Candy Cane Lane” gets really mindless. There’s a huge swath of the movie about Chris discovering that there are talking miniature figurines in Pepper’s shop. The figurines (which are all dressed as Christmas people from the 19th century) look, act and move like human beings. Pepper is keeping these figurines captive against their will.

Three of the figurines get the most dialogue out of all the other figurines. Pip (played by Nick Offerman) is a top-hat-wearing Brit who is the leader of the trio. Pip’s American sidekicks are sassy maiden Cordelia (played by Robin Thede) and goofy lamplighter Gary (played by Chris Redd), who occasionally bicker with each other. The other figurines that appear briefly in the movie to sing are a group of five carolers, played by the real-life singing group Pentatonix. The members of Pentatonix are Scott Hoying, Mitch Grassi, Kirstin Maldonado, Matt Sallee and Kevin Olusola.

Pip, Cordelia and Gary are desperate to be “free from the torment of eternal Christmas” under Pepper’s captivity, according to Pip. This all leads to an “escape and chase” part of the story that further jumbles the already idiotic plot. It’s as if the filmmakers knew they didn’t have enough ideas for the part of the story about the Candy Cane Lane contest and decided to come up with some bad ideas as filler.

Although there’s a disclaimer at the end of “Candy Cane Lane” that says no animals were harmed during the making of the movie, there’s some obvious contempt for winged animals in this film, because depicting and seeing these animals get hurt are used as wretched jokes in the movie. For example, in a scene where Carol is giving some powerful executives a tour of her factory, she sees one of the “Twelve Days of Christmas” chickens hiding in a packing box. In a panic, while the executives aren’t looking, Carol takes the bird out of the box and cruelly throws it at some operating assembly line equipment, where she knows the bird will be immediately decapitated. This decapitation is not explicitly shown on screen, but the movie makes it clear that the bird has died because of Carol’s reckless actions, and the “Candy Cane Lane” filmmakers want viewers to laugh about it.

The acting performances in “Candy Cane Lane” range from mediocre to stiffly awful. Murphy is just going through the motions playing the “stressed-out dad” character that he has played in several other terrible comedies where he’s the family patriarch who gets involved in some problems. Bell’s depiction of the Pepper character is a weak parody of Christmas villains. Apparently, Bell thinks bugging out her eyes makes her look menacing. Pip, Cordelia and Gary can best be described as irritating as pesky flies.

David Alan Grier shows up as Santa Claus, in a cameo role that is written in a racially problematic way, considering that people call him “Black Santa” in the movie, and he speaks like a lower-class person. (“Candy Cane Lane” screenwriter Younger is white.) When a white Santa Claus is in a movie, no one in the movie says, “Oh, look, there’s White Santa.” A black man with the name Santa Claus in a movie doesn’t have to be identified as “Black Santa” by the movie’s characters, and he doesn’t have to get reduced to speaking like an angry black man from the ghetto. It’s very passive-aggressive racism from the “Candy Cane Lane” filmmakers.

And for the love of cinema, the filmmakers of these horrible “comedies” about African American families need to stop making every African American teenage boy in the family have integrity problems and/or portrayed as not being a good student in school. “Candy Cane Lane” has an unnecessary plot development about Nick being deceitful by hiding a secret from his family: He’s close to flunking in his math class, and his parents find out about this lie.

“Candy Cane Lane” is not the type of atrocious film with moments that overcome the lousy parts of the movie. “Candy Cane Lane” just gets worse and worse, until there’s no hope the story will ever recover. And just like many obnoxiously terrible movies, “Candy Cane Lane ” has end credits with a blooper reel that shows the cast members enjoyed making this trash. It’s probably more enjoyment than most viewers will get if they have the endurance to watch “Candy Cane Lane” until the very end.

Amazon MGM Studios released “Candy Cane Lane” in select U.S. cinemas on November 24, 2023. Prime Video will premiere the movie on December 1, 2023.