Matthew Finlan Archives

Review: ‘All the Lost Ones,’ starring Jasmine Mathews, Douglas Smith, Vinessa Antoine, Lochlyn Munro, Matthew Finlan, Anthony Grant, Sheila McCarthy and Devon Sawa

May 22, 2025

by Carla Hay

Douglas Smith, Jasmine Mathews and Vinessa Antoine in “All the Lost Ones” (Photo courtesy of Epic Pictures)

Directed by Mackenzie Donaldson

Culture Representation: Taking place in an unnamed city in the United States, the dramatic film “All the Lost Ones” features a predominantly white cast of characters (with some black people) representing the working-class and middle-class.

Culture Clash: A group of left-wing, racially diverse environmentalists fight for survival during an apocalypse in which a right-wing, white-supremacist militia group has taken over the northeast part of the nation.

Culture Audience: “All the Lost Ones” will appeal primarily to people who are interested in apocalyptic movies, no matter how ridiculous the stories are.

Jasmine Mathews in “All the Lost Ones” (Photo courtesy of Epic Pictures)

“All the Lost Ones” is the title of this frustrating movie but could also describe the plot points that lose their way. This apocalyptic drama, which takes place during an environmental crisis, is a mess of contradictions, plot holes and hokey acting. “All the Lost Ones” is certainly not the only movie about people on opposite sides of the political spectrum who battle for survival and control during an apocalypse. The problem with “All the Lost Ones” is that the movie sets up this intriguing concept, but then constantly sidelines and undermines it with nonsensical action scenes, corny dialogue and sloppy film editing.

Directed by Mackenzie Donaldson, “All the Lost Ones” was written by Anthony Grant and Cheryl Meyer. The movie seems to have the intention of being a provocative commentary on what can happen when people are dealing with not only a climate-change apocalypse but also a civil war. However, the reasons for the sociopolitical divides are ultimately superficial gimmicks that come and go in the story. Most of “All the Lost Ones” consists of poorly staged chase scenes and a mopey pregnant woman wondering why people who are close to her keep dying.

“All the Lost Ones” takes place in an unspecified 21st century period of time in an unnamed city in United States. The movie was actually filmed in Canada, in the Ontario cities of North Bay and Mattawa. The crisis depicted in “All the Lost Ones” wants to trigger images and memories of how the COVID-19 pandemic spawned political battles over wearing masks and getting vaccines. But so much of the crisis in “All the Lost Ones” gets lost in the shuffle of distracting subplots and baffling erasures of crucial things that would be at the forefront of people’s minds if they’re trying to survive the apocalypse that’s described in the movie.

The beginning of “All the Lost Ones” shows a news montage reporting that thousands of people have died from contaminated tap water. Protestors (most of whom are left-wing liberals) who want the controversial Clean Water Bill to be passed into law have occupied the U.S. Capitol building. A right-wing militia group called the United Conservancy opposes the bill because the United Conservancy says that the Clean Water Bill violates people’s right to choose what type of water they want to drink.

The death toll rises. A caption on screen reads, “Six months later, the United Conservancy has occupied a large portion of the North Eastern Seaboard. Groups of civilians find themselves in hiding, torn between two sides of a civil war.” “All the Lost Ones” gives no explanation for how a fringe militia group was able to invade and take over the northeast part of the nation without the U.S. military still not putting up a fight. That’s not a huge issue for the movie, which doesn’t have flashbacks, but it’s the first indication that the movie’s flimsy plot brings up questions that are never answered.

“All the Lost Ones” focuses on a specific group of eight environmental protestors, who are part of a now-scattered community of “resistors.” During the United Conservancy takeover, these eight fugitives have been hiding away at a well-kept, two-story lake house. The synopsis of the movie describes this hideaway dwelling a “cabin.” It’s not a cabin. It’s a contemporary lake house that’s large enough for eight people to live.

If these resistors are living in discomfort and extreme fear, or are trying to lay low by not calling attention to themselves, you wouldn’t know it from the first time they’re seen on screen. They are having a house party, where they’re playing music and dancing, as if they don’t have any worries. It’s a very strange way to start the movie, after viewers are told that there’s a civil war that has led to a rogue military invasion, there’s a pandemic from contaminated water, and the death toll is rising.

These are the eight people in this group of resistors:

Nia (played by Jasmine Mathews), the moody chief protagonist who is conflicted about being a fugitive in hiding, finds out during the story that she is pregnant.
Ethan (played by Douglas Smith), Nia’s sensitive boyfriend, is more certain than Nia that he wants to settle down and get married.
Penny (played by Vinessa Antoine), Nia’s practical-minded older sister, is a medical doctor who used to work as a radiologist before the apocalypse happened.
Mikael Allen (played by Steven Ogg) wants to be the “alpha male” of the group to make leadership decisions.
Raymond Allen (played by “All the Lost Ones” co-writer Grant), nicknamed Ray, is Mikael’s easygoing cousin.
Nancy Allen (played by Kim Roberts) is Raymond’s nurturing mother and Mikael’s aunt.
Dawn (played by Sheila McCarthy) has a calm personality and is good at planning.
Jacob (played by Matthew Finlan) is Dawn’s outgoing 18-year-old son.

“All the Lost Ones” has such underdeveloped characters, the movie never reveals what anyone in this group (except for Nia) did for a living before the apocalypse. This background information wouldn’t have to be told in flashbacks. It could just be briefly mentioned and would go a long way in explaining who in this group has any particular skills or job experience that could be helpful to their survival.

During the house party, everyone seems to be having a great time. Mikael even gives a drinking toast to say that the party is to celebrate their “six-month anniversary.” But viewers might be wondering, “What’s there to celebrate about going into hiding from an extremist militia group?”

Not everyone at the party remains in a festive mood. Nia goes into the bathroom to vomit. And when a woman of child-bearing age vomits in a movie, it’s usually because she’s intoxicated or pregnant. Nia is not intoxicated. Penny notices that Nia isn’t feeling well, but Nia denies that she’s having any health issues.

During this party, observant viewers will notice that all of the partygoers are drinking out of open plastic cups. Each cup is taped with a piece of paper that has the name of the person who’s holding the cup. What is the purpose of having their plastic cups labeled? Don’t expect the movie to answer that question.

This environmental crisis is about contaminated tap water, not keeping track of who is using what cup, as if they’re afraid of being drugged. Labeling the cups with individual names is also a pointless tactic because an open plastic cup isn’t exactly secure if it’s set down somewhere and could easily be contaminated if someone wanted to contaminate what’s in the cup. It’s yet another example of the movie’s disconnect from logic.

And this is where the logic continues to fall off the rails: For unexplained reasons, during this party, Nia decides now would be a good time to strip down to her underwear and swim in the lake. If you’re in the middle of a pandemic where people are dying from contaminated tap water, the last thing you should want to do is jump in water that is the source of tap water, such as lakes, rivers or reservoirs.

But time and time again, there are scenes in “All the Lost Ones” where people jump in unfiltered and unsanitary bodies of water, with no mention or concern about the water contamination crisis. And keep in mind, these are the same “resistors” who believe that the Clean Water Bill should’ve been passed into law. You’d never know it from the hypocritical and counterproductive ways in which they are acting.

Nia’s impromptu swim is interrupted by the horror of seeing a dead young man in the lake. The movie doesn’t give a clear look at the man, but he looks like he has a bullet hole in the middle of his head. Nia is understandably frightened as she rushes out of the lake. Other people at the party see the floating corpse too.

“Did you see his eyes?” an alarmed Mia asks Penny. It turns out that this dead man’s eyes have been removed. Don’t expect an explanation for that either. The dead man is never seen or mentioned again. This is the movie’s clumsy way of showing that in this apocalyptic world, you could get murdered by gun violence and could end up a corpse floating in a lake without anyone caring to find out who you are because they’re too busy celebrating that they’ve spent six months successfully hiding from the extremist militia group that has taken over the region.

All of this means that it’s only a matter of time before “All the Lost Ones” devolves into a series of chase scenes with shootouts. The resistors are armed with mostly rifles and shotguns, but there is no mention of how they are able to refill the supply of ammunition that they use. There are some almost-laughable scenes where some of the resistors waste their ammunition on lousy-aim gun shots.

Before the shootouts and chase scenes happen, “All the Lost Ones” has some awkward and poorly written scenes that show a few of the romantic entanglements in this group of resistors. During the party, there’s a weirdly toned scene of Jacob and Penny flirting with each other and being touchy-feely, as if they’re sexually attracted to each other. Penny is old enough to be the mother of barely legal Jacob, so this scene looks out-of-place and a little creepy.

Why is Penny acting like she wants teenage Jacob to be her next boyfriend? Don’t expect the movie to answer that question either. There is no personal background or context for the main characters’ personal relationships, although the movie eventually shows who and where Jacob’s father is.

Meanwhile, “All the Lost Ones” has some dull scenes of Nia being pouty with Ethan because she openly expresses doubts about her decision to join Ethan in hiding. Nia tells anyone who listens that she feels guilty and helpless for hiding out when she believes she has an obligation to be fighting in the civil war that’s currently raging. Based on Nia’s inept fighting skills and bad decisions in protecting people around her, she’s better off staying in hiding.

To be clear: “All the Lost Ones” isn’t a real war movie that has massive bombings, air combat or extensive military operations. “All the Lost Ones” is a movie that looks like it’s about a bunch of progressive liberals fighting to survive in a wooded lake area while they are being hunted by a rampaging, ragtag group of white supremacist militia people. In case it isn’t clear that United Conservancy members are white supremacist racists, there’s a Nazi flag proudly displayed in one of the member’s homes.

The United Conservancy members who hunt down the resistors are led by a snarling redneck type named Conrad (played by Devon Sawa), who looks like he stepped out of a doomsday prepper recruitment video. Also part of the United Conservancy are “angry dad” Hank (played Lochlyn Munro) and his teenage son Wyatt (played by Alexander Elliot), who has better aim in his gun shooting than almost all of the adults. And lest you think that United Conservancy only has male fighters, there’s a teenage girl named Ripley (played by Stefani Kimber), who’s part of the group, although she is literally a token female.

During this pandemic where thousands of people are dying from contaminated tap water, “All the Lost Ones” doesn’t show anyone actually dying from contaminated tap water. A clever movie with this subject matter would have shown how bottled and filtered water has become a precious resource that is highly sought-after and exploited for profits. But you get none of that in “All the Lost Ones,” which spends the entire movie acting like contaminated water isn’t a life-or-death danger, even though the contaminated water was the catalyst for this apocalyptic pandemic and this civil war.

Before the violent mayhem starts, there’s a scene where Nia, Dawn and Raymond walk to an abandoned part of the city to look for food and supplies. They go inside a general store, where Nia finds a pregnancy kit. Nia takes a pregnancy test to confirm what she suspected: She’s pregnant.

Nia later tells Ethan, who seems more thrilled about the pregnancy than Nia is because Nia seems to want to be some kind of heroic social justice warrior fighting for The Cause, and motherhood might derail those plans. By the way, Mathews and Smith aren’t very believable as a couple in love. And so, the movie fails at the one romance featured in the story.

There are some rats scurrying around this abandoned store. Raymond hands a mouse trap to Nia and tells her to set the trap because they need rats for their group’s next meal. Wait a minute: These are the same people who just a day or two before were partying like they didn’t have any big worries. And now they’re supposed to be so starved for food, they have to resort to eating rats. The contradictions in this movie start to become very annoying.

The acting performances in “All the Lost Ones” become grating and are made worse by some of the insipid dialogue. There’s a scene where Nia and Penny are in the lake (there they go again, being in possibly contaminated water), as they’re trying to hide from United Conservancy gunmen. Penny has been wounded by a gunshot and questions Nia for putting her pregnancy in jeopardy by trying to hold Penny afloat in the lake. Nia quips, “My body, my choice.” Apparently, we’re supposed to believe that when you’re about to be hunted by raging militia extremists, it helps to quote slogans that you see at pro-choice rallies.

Possibly the only thing that “All the Lost Ones” gets right is composer Trevor Yuile’s music score, which is very effective at creating tension in the scenes that need it. Some of the movie’s cinematography is good, but not consistently so. Ulimately, with a weak and contradictory story, mediocre-to-bad acting, and terrible action scenes, “All the Lost Ones” is an apocalyptic movie that sinks faster than a rock in the movie’s lake.

Epic Pictures released “All the Lost Ones” in select U.S. cinemas on April 18, 2025. The movie was released on digital and VOD on April 22, 2025.

Review: ‘Hell of a Summer,’ starring Fred Hechinger, Finn Wolfhard, Billy Bryk, Abby Quinn, D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai, Krista Nazaire and Matthew Finlan

April 2, 2025

by Carla Hay

“Hell of a Summer”

Directed by Billy Bryk and Finn Wolfhard

Culture Representation: Taking place in an unnamed U.S. city, the horror film “Hell of a Summer” features a predominantly white group of people (with one African American and one Indigenous person) representing the working-class and middle-class.

Culture Clash: Counselors at a summer camp experience a deadly rampage by masked serial killer.

Culture Audience: “Hell of a Summer” will appeal primarily to people who don’t mind watching slasher films that rip off all of their ideas from better slasher films.

Cast members of “Hell of a Summer.” Pictured in front row: Billy Bryk, Finn Wolfhard and Krista Nazaire. Pictured in back row: Abby Quinn, Julia Lalonde and Fred Hechinger. (Photo courtesy of Neon)

The derivative and dull horror movie “Hell of a Summer” wants be like 1996’s original “Scream” movie and 1980’s summer-camp horror flick “Friday the 13th.” “Hell of a Summer” is woefully inferior to both films and has comedy and scares that are unimpressive. “Hell of a Summer” has a talented cast but ultimately falls short of being an entertaining horror movie because of the weak screenplay that doesn’t have enough originality or wit.

Written and directed by Billy Bryk and Finn Wolfhard, “Hell of a Summer” is their feature-film directorial debut. Bryk and Wolfhard, who are better known as actors, also co-star in “Hell of a Summer,” which had its world premiere at the 2023 Toronto International Film Festival. “Hell of a Summer” takes place in an unnamed U.S. city, but the movie was actually filmed in the Canadian province of Ontario.

It would be an understatement to say that “Hell of a Summer” is riddled with horror movie clichés. All of the movie’s plot aspects have been copied from other movies. The location (a remote area in the woods) and many of the characters are also just lazy collections of stereotypes.

“Hell of Summer” borrows so heavily from “Scream” (masked killer slays young people who talk in self-referencing quips, with a surprise reveal toward the end) and “Friday the 13th” (masked killer slays counselors at an isolated summer camp), it’s like a mashup of both movies but very watered down, without anything to make any ideas in “Hell of a Summer” truly creative and unique. It’s like if someone tried to mix chocolate syrup and milk together and sold it as chocolate milk, but it ends up tasting like stale water.

“Hell of a Summer” is a checklist of body counts until it’s revealed who’s responsible for the murderous mayhem. What makes the original “Scream” a classic horror film is that the characters were memorable, and much of the dialogue was genuinely entertaining. “Friday the 13th” was not a great horror movie, but it had a great villain, which is the reason why “Friday the 13th” (just like “Scream”) became a long-running successful horror franchise. “Hell of a Summer” doesn’t go beyond having hollow characters and a lot of boring dialogue.

“Hell of a Summer” begins by showing the murders of John (played by Adam Pally) and Kathy (played by Rosebud Baker), the spouses who own Camp Pineway, which is getting ready to host its annual summer camp. John and Kathy are sitting around a campfire. Kathy asks John to perform the song “Pineway,” which he sings while playing an acoustic guitar

Kathy temporarily leaves the campfire area to get some beer nearby. She comes back to the campfire to find John impaled with the guitar neck. A terrified Kathy runs away to her car, but a killer wearing a devil’s mask is hiding in the back seat and murders Kathy from behind with a knife.

And so begins the body counts in “Hell of a Summer,” which assembles a group of mostly annoying people in their 20s to be the next potential victims. All of these other characters are the camp counselors. They have arrived early for orientation sessions before the summer camp attendees are expected to be there.

The movie’s protagonist is a cheerful dork named Jason Hochberg (played by Fred Hechinger), a 24-year-old who has been a Camp Pineway counselor for the past six years. Near the beginning of the film, after Kathy and John have been murdered, Jason is shown getting a car ride to the camp, with his mother Maggie Hochberg (played by Susan Coyne) driving the car. Maggie wants Jason to become a lawyer, and she expresses disappointment that Jason has chosen to spend his summer being a Camp Pineway counselor again instead of doing an internship that he rejected.

Maggie also disapproves of the low salary that Jason gets as a Camp Pineway counselor: “One hundred dollars a week is not employment,” she says. Jason comments to Maggie about Camp Pinaway: “I have my whole life to be a lawyer, but how many summers do I get to spend here?” Maggie replies, “A lot, apparently.” This is the type of mundane dialogue that the movie wants to pass off as comedy-worthy.

The other counselors at the camp are:

Claire (played by Abby Quinn), who is smart, sarcastic and the obvious potential love interest for Jason.
Christian, nicknamed Chris (played by Wolfhard) is a nerdy goofball.
Bobby (played by Bryk) is Chris’ easygoing best friend who might or might not be secretly in love with Chris.
Shannon (played by Krista Nazair) is a self-absorbed diva who rejects the advances of any of the men who show a romantic interest in her.
Demi (played by Pardis Saremi) is an even more self-absorbed diva, and she wants to document her camp activities on social media.
Mike (played by D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai) is a vain and arrogant self-described ladies’ man.
Ezra (played by Matthew Finlan) is a flamboyant “drama queen” who wants to stage a “political re-imagining” play of “Pinocchio” at the camp.
Ari (played by Daniel Gravelle) is an aspiring screenwriter.
Miley (played by Julia Doyle) is a generic young adult with a forgettable personality, which means she won’t last long in this slasher flick.
Noelle (played by Julia Lalonde) is a moody loner who has a fascination with mysticism and the occult.

When the counselors arrive, some are concerned that they don’t see John and Kathy. However, Jason finds a note from John and Kathy saying that John and Kathy had to temporarily leave to take care of a minor emergency. Jason doesn’t know it at the time, but that note was not written by John and Kathy.

One by one, certain people in this group of camp counselors get murdered by someone wearing a devil’s mask. After the first murdered body is discovered, the remaining counselors panic and try to leave, but they find out that they can’t use their cars, which have all been disabled. The camp counselors also find out that all of their phones were stolen, which is the least believable part of the movie, because most people in real life keep their phones nearby so that the phones are close enough to reach.

“Hell of a Summer” tries to pad out its very thin and flimsy plot with tedious storylines about potential hookups and unrequited crushes. Jason has a crush on Demi. Ari and Chris have a crush on Shannon. Claire has an obvious crush on Jason, even though she says she has a boyfriend. And then the inevitable happens when the people in the group start to suspect each other of being the killer. One person in particular is repeatedly accused of being the prime suspect.

All of the technical aspects of “Hell of a Summer” (directing editing, cinematography, etc.) are very mediocre. And although the cast members, particularly Hechinger, try to do their best to convince viewers that “Hell of a Summer” is a clever horror comedy, they can’t overcome the inane dialogue and unrealistic scenarios that pollute this dreadful dud. “Hell of a Summer” has a few quirky moments, but this horror comedy ripoff is more likely to elicit yawns instead of laughs.

Neon will release “Hell of a Summer” in U.S. cinemas on April 4, 2025. The movie will be released on digital and VOD on April 22, 2025. “Hell of a Summer” will be released on 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray and DVD on July 8, 2025.

Review: ‘Orphan: First Kill,’ starring Isabelle Fuhrman, Rossif Sutherland and Julia Stiles

August 19, 2022

by Carla Hay

“Orphan: First Kill”

Directed by William Brent Bell

Culture Representation: Taking place in Darien, Connecticut, and briefly in Estonia and Moscow, the horror movie “Orphan: First Kill” features a predominantly white cast of characters (with a few African Americans and one Asian) representing the working-class, middle-class and wealthy.

Culture Clash: A female serial killer in her 30s, who has a medical condition that makes her look like a child, escapes from a psychiatric facility in Estonia, steals a missing child’s identity, and pretends to be the long-lost daughter of a wealthy family in the United Sates.

Culture Audience: “Orphan: First Kill” will appeal primarily to people who are fans of 2009’s “Orphan” movie and any horror movie that puts more importance in staging murder scenes than in crafting a good story.

Rossif Sutherland and Julia Stiles in “Orphan: First Kill” (Photo by Steve Ackerman/Paramount Pictures)

“Orphan: First Kill” is a horror movie prequel whose very existence is a spoiler for 2009’s “Orphan.” In “Orphan,” the serial killer appears to be an orphaned girl but (spoiler alert), she’s really a woman in her 30s with a rare medical condition that makes her look like a child. “Orphan: First Kill” is a poorly conceived prequel that spoils all the fun for people who don’t know how 2009’s “Orphan” ends. And all the stupid plot holes in “Orphan: First Kill” spoil any fun in the movie’s new plot twist, which isn’t very clever.

“Orphan: First Kill” is directed by William Brent Bell, who has a history of directing awful horror movies, including 2016’s “The Boy,” 2020’s “Brahms: The Boy II” and 2021’s “Separation.” “Orphan: First Kill” (written by David Coggeshall) isn’t the worst of the bunch. But as a horror movie, this stale flick treats its audience as absolute idiots. And there are long stretches of “Orphan: First Kill” that are very boring.

People who don’t know about the surprise twist ending in “Orphan” will have it revealed almost immediately in “Orphan: First Kill,” which takes place in 2007—two years before the story in “Orphan.” The movie opens in February 2007, at the Saarne Institute, an in-patient psychiatric facility in Estonia. (“Orphan: First Kill” was actually filmed in Winnipeg, Canada.) The most notorious resident of the Saarne Institute is Leena Klammer (played by Isabelle Fuhrman), a violent and sadistic woman in her early 30s who has hypopituitarism, a rare hormonal disorder that stunts her physical growth, so that she appears to be a child who’s about 10 or 11 years old.

In “Orphan,” actress Furhman really was in that 10-to-11-year-old age range when she played the Leena character, who created an alias named Esther before she was adopted by an unsuspecting American family. Leena/Esther’s fate is shown at the end of “Orphan,” which is why this serial killer character got a prequel movie instead of a sequel movie. In “Orphan: First Kill,” Furhman’s real-life adult face is de-aged through visual effects and put on a child actress’ body. Kennedy Irwin and Sadie Lee are the actresses who had the roles of being the Leena body doubles.

The de-aging visual effects (which are adequate) in “Orphan: First Kill” are at least more convincing than the movie’s sloppily written screenplay. The rest of the movie’s visual effects look very cheap and tacky, especially in a scene where a blazing fire breaks out in a house, and the fire looks very phony. (This fire scene is briefly shown in the “Orphan: First Kill” trailer.) Except for the plot twist, almost everything in “Orphan: First Kill” is just like a lot of formulaic slasher movies.

At the Saarne Institute, an art therapy teacher named Anna Troyev (played by Gwendolyn Collins) arrives as a newly hired instructor for Leena. As soon as Anna gets there, the facility is on high emergency alert because Leena is nowhere to be found. Saarne Institute supervisor Dr. Novotny (played by David Lawrence Brown) is giving Anna a tour of the facility when this emergency happens.

Dr. Novotny explains to Anna: “Leena is our most dangerous patient. Your predecessor underestimated her and ignored protocol.” Viewers never really find out what happened to Anna’s predecessor, but it obviously wasn’t good. Later, Dr. Novotny describes Leena this way: “She’s an exceptional con artist.”

Anna eventually finds Leena in another room. Leena is taken away, but it isn’t long before Leena goes on a deadly rampage. And this is when the movie starts to get really moronic. Leena is supposedly the “most dangerous patient” at the institute. But she’s given a lot of free reign with the bare minimum of supervision, even after her temporary disappearance that caused a panic at the institute.

There’s a scene where Leena starts to seduce a security guard, who is alone in a room with Leena. What kind of incompetent psychiatric facility would have only one employee alone in a room with “most dangerous patient” Leena? What kind of incompetent training did this security guard have in not being warned that Leena is an “exceptional con artist”? This is what happens in an incompetently made horror movie like “Orphan: First Kill.”

What Leena does to this security guard should come as no surprise. And before Leena escapes from the facility, more than one person ends up dead at this institute, which barely did anything to protect its employees and patients from the institute’s “most dangerous patient.” There’s another adult female patient who sort of helps Leena escape, but don’t expect to find out anything about this accomplice.

You’d think it would make big international news that this very unusual and notorious killer (an adult who looks like a child) escaped from a psychiatric institution. But no. Not in this world of “Orphan: First Kill,” where it’s supposed to be 2007, but the lack of news coverage of this massacre is so unrealistic and behind-the-times, you’d think it was 1907, long before the Internet and television existed.

However, the Internet does exist in this world of “Orphan: First Kill,” because after Leena escapes, she uses the Internet to look up reports and databases of missing children. It’s how she finds out about a missing American girl named Esther Albright from Darien, Connecticut. Esther disappeared four years earlier, and would be about 10 or 11 years old in 2007. Leena has a physical remblance to the 10- or 11-year-old girl who Esther would be if Esther is still alive. And so, Leena decides she’s going to steal Esther’s identity.

For reasons that are never explained in this dimwitted movie, Leena briefly ends up in Moscow. Don’t bother to get a explanation for how Leena was able to pass through the borders of another country as a criminal who’s wanted for murder. Somehow, viewers are supposed to believe that no one in Russia could’ve possibly heard the bizarre news that Estonia (a country that’s right next to Russia) has an escaped, serial killer woman who looks like an innocent girl.

Leena certainly doesn’t go into hiding, because she brazenly puts her Esther Albright fake identity plan into action. Soon after showing up in Moscow, she claims to be long-lost Esther. Leena is found by a Moscow cop while she’s sitting alone on a park swing at night. She concocts a story that she is Esther Albright, and she was kidnapped by a woman who brought her to Estonia. Leena makes up a vague lie that the woman who kidnapped her is now dead, but no one checks to verify this story, or even ask for the name of the woman. Leena/Esther can speak fluent English, but she has an Estonian accent.

And the next thing you know, the real Esther Albright’s family is contacted in the United States. Tricia Albright (played by Julia Stiles) and Allen Albright (played by Rossif Sutherland) are a wealthy married couple who are Esther’s parents. Allen and Tricia live in Darien with their 16-year-old son Gunnar Albright (played by Matthew Finlan), who is a star on his school’s fencing team. Tricia is the only one in the family to go to Moscow to identify the person who claims to be Esther.

Tricia brings “Esther” home to Darien. Allen and Gunnar have an awkward reunion with this person whom they don’t recognize as their long-lost family member. Gunnar is the most skeptical of the person in the home who is claiming to be his sister Esther. It’s a reminiscent of “Orphan,” where the older brother was also the family member who was the most suspicious about the person living as his sister in the family home.

During a session with child therapist Dr. Segar (played by Samantha Walkes), the doctor explains that Esther’s physical features could have changed over the past four years. It’s yet another plot hole: This evaluation about Esther’s physical appearance is coming from a psychiatrist, not a medical doctor of human biology.

And the real Esther’s physician and dentist are nowhere to be seen in this movie, because those doctors would be able to tell that this Esther is an imposter, based on medical and dental records. The plot twist somewhat explains why Tricia is unconcerned about taking Esther to get any physical check-ups, but it doesn’t explain why Allen is unconcerned about getting any medical professionals to do a physical evaluation of this “long-lost” child.

Esther’s education and where she’s going to school are also never discussed. And apparently, Esther had no friends before she disappeared, because they are never seen in the movie. No one else outside of the family claims to recognize her, which is a story that would easily fall apart under scrutiny from the media and law enforcement. But the movie ignores that logic.

Gunnar notices that the person claiming to be Esther has skills as an illustration artist that are on par with an adult’s skills. Before the real Esther disappeared, Gunnar remembers that she could only draw stick figures. However, these art skills are explained as Esther developing prodigy-level artist talent in the four years since she was gone.

This talent for art is how Leena/Esther eventually wins over Allen, who is also an illustration artist with a shared passion for painting. Allen thinks that Esther inherited her artistc talent from him. Allen is portrayed as a clueless parent in the worst way, blinded by the ego stroking that skilled con artist Leena gives him as innocent-looking Esther.

The re-appearance of Esther, which would make big news in any community in real life, is esentially ignored by the news media in “Orphan: First Kill.” It’s just a lazy way for “Orphan: First Kill” to prevent any logical plotline where reporters would be investigating this sudden re-appearance, thereby making it easier for Leena/Esther’s secret to be revealed. It’s the same preposterous portrayal of the media where “Orphan: First Kill” viewers are supposed to believe that the media in Estonia and nearby Russia couldn’t be bothered to give massive coverage of Leena’s escape from the Saarne Institute after she murdered people there.

Instead, the movie has some dull scenes where Esther is treated like a pesky freak by Gunnar. One night, Tricia and Allen are away from home at a gala event hosted by Tricia. Gunnar decides to throw a party at the house while the parents are gone. Gunnar rejects Esther’s attempts to hang out with Gunnar and his friends. And she tells him, “Go fuck yourself” in front of his pals. Apparently, the “Orphan: First Kill” filmmakers want viewers to think that this scene of a “child” cursing is supposed to be provocative, even though viewers already know she’s not really a child.

In a terribly written horror movie like “Orphan: First Kill,” the Saarne Institute’s pathetic mishandling of Leena’s confinement isn’t the only incompetency on full display. Apparently, the “Orphan: First Kill” filmmakers want viewers to also believe that when someone claiming to be a missing child suddenly appears, DNA tests are not done. It’s another irritating way that so much of the movie’s shoddy plot looks like the “Orphan: First Kill” filmmakers want viewers forget that this movie takes place in 2007, when DNA testing definitely existed.

There’s a half-hearted attempt to verify Esther’s identity through fingerprints, when a police investigator named Detective Donnan (played by Hiro Kanagawa) is the only cop with enough common sense to want to check Esther’s fingerprints. But when Leena/Esther finds out that Detective Donnan (who investigated the real Esther’s disapperance) is suspicious about her real identity, you can easily guess what happens to Detective Donnan. In fact, all of the murders that happen in “Orphan: First Kill” are too easy to predict, which makes everything just a witless retread of “Bad Seed”-ripoff movies.

The plot twist in “Orphan: First Kill” is revealed about halfway through the movie. And it’s a plot twist that’s ripped from tabloid headlines regarding a theory about who caused a real-life, very famous unsolved murder. But in order to believe this plot twist and for certain people to get away with the charade, you’d also have to believe no one in the world would question why Esther’s identity wasn’t verified through DNA, fingerprints and dental records. It’s a plot hole that’s too big for this mindless movie to overcome.

The cast members of “Orphan: First Kill” don’t do much to elevate the ludicrous material that they’ve been given. It’s obvious that the filmmakers are relying heavily on nostalgia for the 2009 “Orphan” movie to get an audience for “Orphan: First Kill.” By the end of “Orphan: First Kill,” there’s nowhere else to go with any prequel stories for Leena/Esther, unless filmmakers want to continue the laughably bad concept that this adult serial killer disguised as a child is able to fly under the radar of the news media and law enforcement after all the massacres she’s committed.

Paramount Pictures released “Orphan: First Kill” in select U.S. cinemas, on Paramount+ and on digital on August 19, 2022. The movie is set for release on Blu-ray and DVD on October 18, 2022.