July 28, 2024
by Carla Hay
Directed by Kimberly Reed
Culture Representation: Taking place in New York and New Jersey, the documentary film “I’m Your Venus” features a white and Latin group of people (with some black people) who are involved with trying to get answers and justice for the unsolved murder of “Paris Is Burning” co-star Venus Xtravaganza, 23, who was strangled to death in New York City, in 1988.
Culture Clash: Some of Venus Xtravaganza’s family members have to come to terms with their past transphobia and the transphobia that causes hate crimes and a more complicated and difficult legal process for transgender victims.
Culture Audience: “I’m Your Venus” will appeal primarily to people who are interested in documentaries about transgender people, true crime and New York City trans/LGBTQ ballroom culture.
“I’m Your Venus” is a poignant and commendable documentary about how the loved ones of “Paris Is Burning” breakout star Venus Xtravanganza are trying to get justice for her unsolved murder. The movie is also a call to action for transgender rights. “I’m Your Venus” shows in unflinching ways how the family members of deceased transgender people have an extra set of challenges, including dealing with transphobia and the legal procudures to posthumously change the gender and name of a transgender person.
Directed by Kimberly Reed, “I’m Your Venus” (which had its world premiere at the 2024 Tribeca Festival) is the story of two families: Venus Xtravaganza’ biological family (mostly her three brothers) and her LGBTQ family (including House of Xtravanganza mother Gisele Xtravaganza) in New York City’s LGBTQ ballroom scene. Her biological family members get most of the screen time in showing their quest for justice because, legally, they are the ones who can get access to law enforcement’s documents on the case.
The 1990 documentary “Paris Is Burning” (directed by Jennie Livingston) is considered a breakthrough LGBTQ documentary because it was the first mainstream documentary feature to chronicle the New York City ballroom culture of drag queens and transgender people. Most of the participants in the documentary were African American and Latin. And in a movie fllled with larger-than-life personalities, Venus Xtravanganza (a petite and sassy blonde) was one of the standouts in “Paris Is Burning.” Venus was featured on an alternative version of the movie’s official poster that showed her strutting in a ball gown during a ballroom competition.
Tragically, Venus never got to see “Paris Is Burning” because she was strangled to death at the now-defunct Fulton Hotel in New York City in December 1988. She was 23. An autopsy report revealed that Venus had been found a few days after her death. No suspects have been named, but the New York Police Department has the killer’s DNA, which does not match anyone in the DNA databases used by law enforcement. A person of interest confessed to her murder in 1990, but then he committed suicide. “I’m Your Venus” shows what was done by the family members and law enforcement to follow up on this information.
Venus was born in Jersey City, New Jersey on May 22, 1965, and was given the name Thomas Pellagatti. Her father was Italian American and her mother was Puerto Rican. Both of her parents are now deceased. Her three surviving siblings are oldest brother John Pellagatti, middle bother Joe Pellagatti and youngest brother Louie Pellagatti. Venus was younger than John and Joe and was older than Louie.
John is the bossiest and most outspoken of the three bothers and considers himself to be the leader of the siblings. Joe is sensitive and thoughtful and more likely to express his vulnerability. Louie is the least talkative brother and is the one who (by all accounts) was the brother was the most accepting of Venus’ gender identity when she was alive.
Venus is buried at Holy Cross Cemetery and Mausoleum in North Arlington, New Jersey. Part of “I’m You Venus” is about showing her three brothers’ process of legally getting her name changed to Venus Xtravaganza in her death records and on her gravestone. These are among the most emotional scenes in the documentary because it was the first time that New Jersey had allowed this name change for a transgender person. The documentary calls attention to the fact that several states in the U.S. still do not have laws allowing these types of changes for deceased transgender people.
Venus grew up during a time when there wasn’t a word to describe transgender people who didn’t have gender affirmation surgery. Transgender people are often misidentified as cisgender people. She began calling herself Venus in her teens. By 1983, when she was about 18 years old, she joined House of Xtravaganza. In the LGBTQ ballroom scene, a house is a group of ballroom competitors.
In “I’m Your Venus,” her brothers describe having a broken family after their parents got divorced. The siblings had an abusive stepfather named Hoppy. Their mother left to move to California in the early 1980s when John and Joe were young adults. With no mother figure in her life, Venus became closer to her paternal grandmother. Venus was often a babysitter for younger brother Louie, who remembers how Venus was protective of him when their parents argued. Louie also says he knew from an early age that Venus was female and wanted to live that way.
By contrast, her older brothers John and Joe admit they had a hard time understanding why Venus was the way she was. John says he used to bully Venus for being a “sissy.” John describes an incident when he got so angry at Venus for not acting like a boy, he picked her up, turned her upside down, and began shaking her.
Things did not change for the better with her family when Venus became a young adult and lived as a woman. John says in the documentary: “I did a lot of shit that fucked her up.” One of the hurtful things that John confesses to doing to Venus was ordering her not to dress like a woman if Venus was out in public with John’s son Mike, who is now an adult and is shown in the documentary. In the documentary, John expresses regret over this harmful bigotry.
John was the brother who had to identify Venus’ decomposed body. He also expresses remorse that during a long period of time leading up and after to Venus’ death, he was ashamed and confused over having a transgender sibling. “Losing my sister weakened me,” John says. “I was more worried about my image than hers.” John has harsh words for the 2013 off-Broadway play “The Murder of Venus Xtravaganza,” which he says was created by an “asshole” who did not have the permission of Venus’ family to do the play.
In “I’m Your Venus,” a woman only identified as Helen, who describes herself as a friend of Venus, says she gave Venus to stay when Venus became homeless. “Venus loved her brothers and loved her family,” Helen says. According to Helen, Venus did not want to ask her Pellagatti family for help because she felt they would shame her and blame her transgender identity for why she was having problems.
Gia Love, a transgender activist who knew Venus, describes Venus as a “beautiful free spirit, comfortable with who she was.” However, Love says that most people join ballroom houses to get a new family because their biological relatives have rejected them or emotionally damaged them. At the time Venus died, she had been estranged from her family.
“I’m Your Venus” includes some previously unreleased and re-edited “Paris Is Burning” outtakes. In “Paris Is Burning,” Venus talked about her dreams of getting married someday and said in an much-quoted line that she wanted to have a life where she was “a spoiled, rich, white girl living in the suburbs.” At the time she filmed “Paris Is Burning,” Venus had been saving her money to able to afford gender affirmation surgery. Sadly, those dreams never came true for Venus.
Like many transgender women forced to live outside the margins of society because of being discriminated against to find employment, Venus turned to sex work to make money. She was open about it in “Paris Is Burning” and talked about how she knew the risks of sex work, including the possibility of being murdered by a customer who had a problem with her being transgender. It’s mentioned in the documentary that Venus, who also struggled with a crack cocaine problem, was most likely killed directly or indirectly because her sex work because she was found murdered in a hotel room.
One of the more inspirational aspects of “I’m Your Venus” is how it shows Venus’ two families meeting each other and getting to know each other for the first time. Gisele Xtravaganza—a stunning and statuesque woman who looks like a model and also uses the name Gisele Alicea—shares stories with Venus’ brothers about the Venus she knew. Not everything that Gisele tells the brothers is heartwarming. Gisele is candid about how much Venus felt alienated by her family because of all the rejection she got from certain family members because of her transgender identity.
House of Xtravaganza members who are also featured in the documentary are Jose Disla Xtravaganza, Gabriel Xtravaganza and Amara Xtravaganza. Also in the documentary are attorneys John Walden and Deanna Paul of the New York City-based law firm Walden Macht & Haran. Celeste Fiore, founder of the Gender Affirming Alliance, has educational meetings with Venus’ brothers.
Aside from the legal procedures for the murder case and for Venus’ transgender identity corrections, “I’m Your Venus” shows an impactful journey of what people from different gender identity communities can learn from each other. “I’m Your Venus” is a powerful testament to how these two families share the common pain of Venus’ death but are also sharing in a positive healing process. If Venus were alive, she would be very proud to see what her loved ones and other people have done to celebrate her life and the lives of other transgender people.